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Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations. Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people? Give reasons for your answer. Write at least 250 words. v.2

Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations. Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people? v. 2
I agree with that, In trendy sector, All social networks are working for celebrities for every minute that agree with some, while others are not. I will discuss some reasons here such as to improve their rating and these networks provides best information about them. First, every day opens any magazines or Tv channels showing the front page about only of famous people that will be discussed with organiser, founder, philotrophist that gives knowledge to people how they struggle in their career. It should be given confidence to other people, while they face any problem in life. For example: Rathan Tata is a good business person as well as a best founder and helper to society. He established so many companies to provide employment for people. The country faces circumstances, he will be taking a first place in that country. These news will give awareness to about him diversely few things also learn children if we read that story. Secondly, Those news papers, Magazines are showing cinema celebrities on their front page only for improving their rating. No Matter there, but they publish silly things such as what they eat, where they go that not essential to them. I am not saying all cinema celebrates some are there, even Tv serials, small screen people also they show. Youth may divert to unnecessary things that was the best for our society. Often some pics also we cannot see if we sit with the children. I have to go the conclusion, Newpapers, Magazines are public servants that should give awareness to everyone about strong people who sacrifice their life. If you publish for famous people it will be useful to the academy.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that, In trendy sector, All social networks are working for celebrities for every minute that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, while others are not. I will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons here such as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their rating and these networks
A determiner is probably missing here: "provides the best".
provides best
information about them.

First
, every day opens any magazines or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
channels showing the front page about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that will
be discussed
with
Possible spelling mistake. 'organiser' is British English.
organiser
, founder,
Possible spelling mistake found.
philotrophist
that gives knowledge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how they struggle in their career. It should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
confidence to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while they face any problem in life.
For example
:
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rathan
Tata is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
business person
as well
as
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best founder and helper to society. He established
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to provide employment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The country faces circumstances, he will be taking a
first
place in that country.
Did you mean "this news" or "These newses"?
These news
will give awareness to about him
diversely
few things
also
learn children if we read that story.

Secondly
, Those
This word is normally spelled as one.
news papers
, Magazines are showing cinema celebrities on their front page
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for improving their rating. No Matter there,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they publish silly things such as what they eat, where they go that not essential to them. I am not saying all cinema celebrates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are there, even
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
serials,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
. Youth may divert to unnecessary things that was the best for our society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pics
also
we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
if we sit with the children.

I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go the conclusion,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newpapers
, Magazines are public servants that should give awareness to everyone about strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who sacrifice their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
. If you publish for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it will be useful to the academy.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations. Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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