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There is less social contact between young and old. What are the reasons? What measures can be taken? v.2

There is less social contact between young and old. What are the reasons? What measures can be taken? v. 2
These days people are engrossed in their own busy lives that they tend not to meet each other on a very frequent basis. Children are exposed to the digital world at a very young age and when they grow up, they avoid meeting and socializing with people especially the aged people. There are various reasons for this lack of communication, some of which we are going to discuss further. This essay will also provide measures to reduce this generation gap. To begin with, now a day, internet and social networking sites has adversely impacted the mindset of people. People of different ages have their own opinions and thoughts which boost aggressiveness in the youth. For instance, in some of the countries where traditional laws are still followed, old people do not appreciate men and women gelling up with each other openly. With the rising exposure of people across different countries of the world, teenagers do not want to follow their parents or elder's advice on such matters. In addition, the government can start various campaigns to increase participation of such activities. On the other hand, elders pressurize their children to follow their traditional rules and regulations. Hence, it becomes impossible for them to sit and socialize with each other. To combat this problem, certain measures should be taken to reduce the gap between young and old people. For instance, social activities should be arranged for all age groups where people of different ages should join and meet up. The frequency of Meetups should be increased so that that friction between them reduces and they start respecting each other view points. Excess use of social networking sites should be banned by the government that will encourage people to interact physically than digitally. In addition, government can also start campaigns and distribute gifts in order to increase participation of people. Thus, corrective measures should be taken to increase the interaction and socialization between the aged and youngsters. In conclusion, it cannot be denied that if certain measures are enforced and followed properly, two groups of different generations can be mixed and enhance social interactivity through personal interaction than through digital media.
These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are engrossed
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
busy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
that they tend not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
frequent basis. Children
are exposed
to the digital world at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
and when they grow up, they avoid meeting and socializing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
the aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are various reasons for this lack of communication,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of which we are going to discuss
further
. This essay will
also
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this generation gap.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a day, internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites has
adversely
impacted the mindset of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinions and thoughts which boost aggressiveness in the youth.
For instance
, in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
countries where traditional laws are
still
followed,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not appreciate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women gelling up with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
openly
. With the rising exposure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
across
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries of the world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
do not want to follow their parents or elder's advice on such matters.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
various campaigns to increase participation of such activities. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, elders pressurize their children to follow their traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations.
Hence
, it becomes impossible for them to sit and socialize with each other.

To combat this problem, certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
should
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the gap between young and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activities should
be arranged
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up. The frequency of Meetups should
be increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that that friction between them
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
reduces and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
respecting each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
view points. Excess
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites should
be banned
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
that will encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to interact
Use "(physically)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
physically
than
digitally
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
campaigns and distribute gifts in order to increase participation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, corrective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
should
be taken
to increase the interaction and socialization between the aged and youngsters.

In conclusion
, it cannot
be denied
that if certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
are enforced
and followed
properly
, two groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
generations can
be mixed
and enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interactivity through personal interaction than through digital media.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay There is less social contact between young and old. What are the reasons? What measures can be taken? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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