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In many countries, women and men are working full-time. It is therefore logical for women and men to share household chores. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.11

In many countries, women and men are working full-time. It is therefore logical for women and men to share household chores. v. 11
Nowadays, women and men like to work in several countries on a regular basis. Some people believe that, daily duties in their houses should have been shared between men and women. This essay will discuss, why it is the joint responsibility of for doing their household chores. First of all, we are living in an era of gender equality. In other words, there is no gender difference between man and woman. Consequently, almost all countries allow ladies to do whatever the gents do. So this reflects in their jobs too. For instance, in my country, a large proportion of the ladies are working, especially in the information or technology sector. As a result, they do not have enough time to do all the duties in their home. So without the joint effort, their house jobs could not completed. Secondly, children should have been pampered by both their father and mother. In detail, without the proper guidance and the inculcation from their parents, there is a chance of children may go astray. This could adversely affect the society too. So that, both father and mother have the joint onus to rear their children to cement a good citizen. For example, some countries passed a law states that, both genders have the same right to their children rather than one. In conclusion, I totally agreed that all the household jobs should have been shared between husband and wife, because, man and woman have the same rights and children should imbibe their parents in order to learn good things.
Nowadays, women and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
like to work in several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
on a regular basis.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that, daily duties in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
should have
been shared
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women. This essay will discuss, why it is the joint responsibility of for doing their household chores.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, we are living in an era of gender equality.
In other words
, there is no gender difference between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and woman.
Consequently
, almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
ladies to do whatever the gents do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this reflects in their jobs too.
For instance
, in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, a large proportion of the ladies are working,
especially
in the information or technology sector.
As a result
, they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to do all the duties in their home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
without the joint effort, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
jobs could not
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "complete"
completed
.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have
been pampered
by both their father and mother. In detail, without the proper guidance and the inculcation from their parents, there is a chance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may go astray. This could
adversely
affect the society too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, both father and mother have the joint onus to rear their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to cement a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizen.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
passed a law states that, both genders have the same right to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
rather
than one.

In conclusion
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that all the household jobs should have
been shared
between husband and wife,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and woman have the same rights and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should imbibe their parents in order to learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay In many countries, women and men are working full-time. It is therefore logical for women and men to share household chores. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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