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More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? v.10

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 10
It is clear that, over the years, there is an increasing number of animal species that are going extinct and others that are getting endangered. This essay will discuss some of the reasons why it is happening and propose some ways to mitigate the issues. With regards to animals that are going to extinction, one of the main causes which can be cited is the climate change, not only caused by humans, but also due to natural cycles that Earth is constantly passing through. These changes may affect their natural habitats, forcing them to migrate to other regions or, fatally, leading them to starvation and consequent death. For example, it is believed that the dinosaurs had gone extinct because of natural changes. As a consequence, after those sudden phenomena, many species have disappeared from year. Combating this problem is extremely difficult, since it is not men-caused, but professionals, such as environmentalists and biologists, should try to adjust the new environmental characteristics, making them less radical, thuss the animals could tolerate them. As for animals that are on the endangered list, the most pressing causes are usually related to human activities, leading to subtle, but continuous, changes in the local ecosystem. Such activities change the ideal habitat characteristics, leading to a hostile atmosphere. For instance, in the past, men used cut bamboo trees which were used by pandas as food, and this led pandas to be on the endangered species list. As they are considered a national symbol, Chinese Government prohibited people to cut this vegetal and, moreover, enforced capital penalty to those who were caught cutting them. As a consequence, panda population has presented a significant increase over the years. In conclusion, the main causes for animal extinction or endangering are related to climate changes, whether due to human action or not. However, these problems should be minimised if professionals, such as biologists and environmentalists, could start acting trying to adjust substantial transformations and governments should enforce strict laws against human activities which could seriously harm animals.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, over the years, there is an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species that are going extinct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
that are getting endangered. This essay will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons why it is happening and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways to mitigate the issues.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that are going to extinction, one of the main causes which can
be cited
is the climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
due to natural cycles that Earth is
constantly
passing through. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
may affect their natural habitats, forcing them to migrate to other regions or,
fatally
, leading them to starvation and consequent death.
For example
, it
is believed
that the dinosaurs had gone extinct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
. As a consequence, after those sudden phenomena,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species have disappeared from year. Combating this problem is
extremely
difficult, since it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
-caused,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
professionals, such as environmentalists and biologists, should try to adjust the new environmental characteristics, making them less radical,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thuss
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
could tolerate them.

As for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that are on the endangered list, the most pressing causes are
usually
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities, leading to subtle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
continuous,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in the local ecosystem. Such activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the ideal habitat characteristics, leading to a hostile atmosphere.
For instance
, in the past,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
bamboo trees which were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by pandas as food, and this led pandas to be on the endangered species list. As they
are considered
a national symbol, Chinese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
prohibited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
this
Possible spelling mistake found.
vegetal
and,
moreover
, enforced capital penalty to those who
were caught
cutting them. As a consequence, panda population has presented a significant increase over the years.

In conclusion
, the main causes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
extinction or endangering
are related
to climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
, whether due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
action or not.
However
, these problems should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimised' is British English.
minimised
if professionals, such as biologists and environmentalists, could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
acting trying to adjust substantial transformations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should enforce strict laws against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities which could
seriously
harm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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