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Everyone should follow a vegetarian diet because it is not necessary to eat meat to be healthy. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Everyone should follow a vegetarian diet because it is not necessary to eat meat to be healthy. v. 1
School subjects have evolved along two lines: academic and extracurricular. Some people advocate that too much emphasis is placed on the former and that the balance of pupil’s timetables should gravitate towards extracurricular activities. I am inclined to agree; however, my support is with the stipulation that an imbalance in the other direction should be avoided. To commence with, such activities develop and stimulate an analytical mind for the youngsters. There is an abundance of evidence that these activities attract merits in future lives, as students are superb at shifting from a divergent mind set to a convergent style. Not only does this unique life skill stand out from the crowd, it also exercises the mind to resolve thorny issues. Besides, the offspring may discover hidden talents, all thanks to these extracurricular subjects. Because the uncovered beauties of stimulating subjects are numerous, the need to nurture the offspring towards this focus is clear. Additionally, the creativity integrated within the subjects can serve as a brain break following long hours of intensive studying on academic subjects. Research suggests that people crave interaction, which is what pupils should be complemented with, and may be fulfilled through the fields of the arts. Admittedly, a disturbing by-product may be the over consumption of time on subjects that are on the opposite end of the world. Nevertheless, the benefits on relevant subjects via these activities cannot be underestimated. In conclusion, however, it should be remembered that academic subjects should play a considerably central role throughout school life, and it is critical to maintain a balanced approach to maximize the knowledge of students. Engaging in the arts may be more beneficial to children than academic subjects, but can never wholly replace it.
School
subjects
have evolved along two lines:
academic
and extracurricular.
Some
people
advocate that too much emphasis
is placed
on the former and that the balance of pupil’s timetables should gravitate towards extracurricular
activities
. I
am inclined
to
agree
;
however
, my support is with the stipulation that an imbalance in the other direction should
be avoided
.

To commence with, such
activities
develop and stimulate an analytical mind for the youngsters. There is an abundance of evidence that these
activities
attract merits in future
lives
, as students are superb at shifting from a divergent mind set to a convergent style. Not
only
does this unique life
skill
stand out from the crowd, it
also
exercises the mind to resolve thorny issues.
Besides
, the offspring may discover hidden talents, all thanks to these extracurricular
subjects
.
Because
the uncovered beauties of stimulating
subjects
are numerous, the need to nurture the offspring towards this focus is
clear
.

Additionally
, the creativity integrated within the
subjects
can serve as a brain break following long hours of intensive studying on
academic
subjects
. Research suggests that
people
crave interaction, which is what pupils should
be complemented
with, and may
be fulfilled
through the fields of the arts.
Admittedly
, a disturbing by-product may be the over consumption of time on
subjects
that are on the opposite
end
of the world.
Nevertheless
, the benefits on relevant
subjects
via these
activities
cannot
be underestimated
.

In conclusion
,
however
, it should
be remembered
that
academic
subjects
should play a
considerably
central role throughout school life, and it is critical to maintain a balanced approach to maximize the knowledge of students. Engaging in the arts may be more beneficial to children than
academic
subjects
,
but
can never wholly replace it.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Everyone should follow a vegetarian diet because it is not necessary to eat meat to be healthy. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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