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There have been many inventions in human history, such as wheel. Some people think that the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

There have been many inventions in human history, such as wheel. Some people think that the most important thing is the internet. v. 1
In recent years, it has been observed that the populace of the nations consists of more of the youngsters than elderly people. In my opinion, the presence of young citizens helps the country's in working smoothly due to their knowledge of advanced technologies and physical strength they have, which clearly overweight with the being of elders in our society, who possess real life-experiences. Talking about the positives first, the younglings have the physical strength and the latest technology information, which is a necessity in today's day-to-day life. In other words, they are full of energy and have physical, mental, and psychological well-being, which can help them to handle rigorous daily activities, smoothly. In the UK, for instance, it has been monitored that the number of middle-aged individuals is more when compared to the old-aged ones, as a consequence, it shows a tremendous pace in handling daily chores effectively and efficiently. Hence, young people are seen to have a more efficient life, which can be helpful for a nation, besides the individual themselves. Coming to the other side, the old-age people hold experiences, with the help of which any situation can be handled easily by them. Their life-skills and experiences could be useful in understanding a situation and resolving it wisely with the help of the information they hold. Moreover, they can understand the incident and can manage to overcome any unexpected occurrences calmly, unlike the young group, who might end up creating a mess with complicated situations. In a provincial like India, where the population dwelling contains an almost equal number of young and older people, it could be the best example of this scenario. Here, most of the political leaders are older people, they are observed to be competent enough to manage any happening in the agrarian in a wise manner, in turn, boosts the rustic's overall economy. Overall, the presence of elderly people is helpful in handling the homey's health and the economy. In a nutshell, albeit the life-experience that older people posses could be useful in dealing with multiple unfortunate occurrences happening at the provincial, but the strength of young-generation people and knowledge towards the technology advancement could be more helpful for an agrarian to elevate the growth curve of their nation, which crystal clears that advantages of middle-age people outweigh the disadvantages.
In recent years, it has
been observed
that the populace of the nations consists of more of the youngsters than elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion, the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the country's in working
smoothly
due to their knowledge of advanced technologies and physical strength they have, which
clearly
overweight with the being of elders in our society, who possess real life-experiences.

Talking about the positives
first
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
younglings
have the physical strength and the latest technology information, which is a necessity in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's day-to-day life.
In other words
, they are full of energy and have physical, mental, and psychological well-being, which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to handle rigorous daily activities,
smoothly
. In the UK,
for instance
, it has
been monitored
that the number of middle-aged individuals is more when compared to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-aged ones, as a consequence, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a tremendous pace in handling daily chores
effectively
and
efficiently
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to have a more efficient life, which can be helpful for a nation,
besides
the individual themselves.

Coming to the other side, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold experiences, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of which any situation can
be handled
easily
by them. Their life-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and experiences could be useful in understanding a situation and resolving it
wisely
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of the information they hold.
Moreover
, they can understand the incident and can manage to overcome any unexpected occurrences
calmly
, unlike the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
group, who might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up creating a mess with complicated situations. In a provincial like India, where the population dwelling contains an almost equal number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it could be the best example of this scenario. Here, most of the political leaders are older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they
are observed
to be competent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to manage any happening in the agrarian
Consider replacing "in a wise manner" with the adverb for "wise"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a wise manner
, in turn, boosts the rustic's
overall
economy.
Overall
, the presence of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is helpful in handling the homey's health and the economy.

In a nutshell, albeit the life-experience that older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
posses could be useful in dealing with multiple unfortunate occurrences happening at the provincial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the strength of young-generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and knowledge towards the technology advancement could be more helpful for an agrarian to elevate the growth curve of their nation, which crystal clears that advantages of middle-age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
outweigh the disadvantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay There have been many inventions in human history, such as wheel. Some people think that the most important thing is the internet. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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