Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

There have been many inventions in human history, such as wheel. Some people think that the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

There have been many inventions in human history, such as wheel. Some people think that the most important thing is the internet. v. 2
It is true that there have been many innovative technologies which have profoundly changed the course of human history. While some people think that the invention of the internet is the most significant event, I would argue that other discoveries are far more crucial. On the one hand, the internet has a great impact on many vital aspects of human life. One consideration is that the internet facilitates the dissemination of information, allowing people to pass on ideas worldwide. It is exemplified by the social network Facebook which acts as a virtual platform helping people spread their ideas whenever and wherever they want without any geographic boundary. Additionally, thanks to the internet, people find it easy to keep in contact with people who are some distance away. For instance, parents in Vietnam can make a video call via Facetime app to ask after the health of their children studying oversea. On the other hand, other discoveries have played more vital roles in the rise of human being as the most successful species on Earth. The first is electricity which laid the foundation for many subsequent inventions, and the internet and computers were of no exception. In other words, the internet would not exist if there were no electricity. The second is steam engines which have tremendous enhanced productivity and have driven the industrial revolutions. The final and most important invention, from my point of view, is paper. This fosters the transmission of knowledge from generation to generation. As a result, human being has been becoming more knowledgeable and intelligent. In conclusion, although the internet has several enormous advantages for the human race, I believe that there have been more significant discoveries contributing to human development.
It is true that there have been
many
innovative technologies which have
profoundly
changed
the course of
human
history. While
some
people
think
that the invention of the internet is the most significant
event
, I would argue that
other
discoveries are far more crucial.

On the one hand, the internet has a great impact on
many
vital aspects of
human
life. One consideration is that the internet facilitates the dissemination of information, allowing
people
to pass on
ideas
worldwide. It
is exemplified
by the social network Facebook which acts as a virtual platform helping
people
spread their
ideas
whenever and wherever they want without any geographic boundary.
Additionally
, thanks to the internet,
people
find it easy to
keep
in contact with
people
who are
some
distance away.
For instance
, parents in Vietnam can
make
a video call via
Facetime
app to ask after the health of their children studying oversea.

On the
other
hand,
other
discoveries have played more vital roles in the rise of
human
being as the most successful species on Earth. The
first
is electricity which laid the foundation for
many
subsequent inventions, and the internet and computers were of no exception. In
other
words, the internet would not exist if there were no electricity. The second is steam engines which have tremendous enhanced productivity and have driven the industrial revolutions. The final and most
important
invention, from my point of view, is paper. This fosters the transmission of knowledge from generation to generation.
As a result
,
human
being has been becoming more knowledgeable and intelligent.

In conclusion
, although the internet has several enormous advantages for the
human
race, I believe that there have been more significant discoveries contributing to
human
development.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay There have been many inventions in human history, such as wheel. Some people think that the most important thing is the internet. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts