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There has been an increase in the number of homeless people all around the world. What are the causes of it? v.2

There has been an increase in the number of homeless people all around the world. What are the causes of it? v. 2
Advancement in Technology, increase in population, improvement in human lifestyle and the way of living has many pros and cons. Among them one commonly prevailing throughout the globe is homelessness. In this essay, I will examine the numerous causes behind the vagabondage and apropos remedial solutions. People are confronting the severe problem of vagrancy due to unemployment, social discriminations, globalization, unequal distribution of resources, population growth, wars and natural disasters. For example, In the poorest country, it is hard for occupants find the suitable opportunities due to the lack of industries and other businesses. Because of that, residents of suffering countries travel to developing nations to have better career options. In this regards, fewer people will succeed, while others remain jobless and become homeless in foreign countries. However, by contrast, this scenario is different from the resident of developed countries who prefer to visit overseas countries instead of constructing a comfortable residence for themselves in their homeland. In addition, older people are facing severe the severe problem of displaced because their offsprings don not have enough money to support the large family. As a result, they leave their parents in old age house and it is even disappointing to older people to feel alone and lack of social caring. Above all, the war and natural disaster have considered the major causes of homeless along with imparting severe economic deficit in the country. As ware displaces the people from their homes turns them into refugee camps. Similarly, natural disasters such as earthquakes and floods forced people to relocate their residency, in other words, it results in refugee. Adding further, another common cause of the outcast is social discrimination, in which you are unable to buy a home for yourself due to previous misconduct in the society. Therefore, to overcome the problem of homelessness many nations all over the world is planning to dwindle the miseries of unemployment, discrimination, tension among the nations and confront the natural disasters effectively. To conclude, I think that the government and non-government organization should put their best foot forward together to curb the menace and mitigate the miseries of homelessness at all ages in the society.
Advancement in Technology, increase in population, improvement in human lifestyle and the way of living has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros and cons. Among them one
commonly
prevailing throughout the globe is homelessness. In this essay, I will examine the numerous causes behind the vagabondage and apropos remedial solutions.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are confronting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
severe
problem of vagrancy due to unemployment, social discriminations, globalization, unequal distribution of resources, population growth, wars and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
.
For example
, In the poorest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for occupants find the suitable opportunities due to the lack of industries and other businesses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, residents of suffering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
travel to developing nations to have better career options. In
Did you mean "these"?
this
regards, fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will succeed, while others remain jobless and become homeless in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, by contrast, this scenario is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the resident of developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who prefer to visit overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
instead
of constructing a comfortable residence for themselves in their homeland.
In addition
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
severe
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
severe
problem of displaced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
Did you mean "do not"?
don not
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to support the large family.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their parents in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and it is even disappointing to older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to feel alone and lack of social caring.

Above all
, the war and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disaster
have considered the major causes of homeless along with imparting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
severe
economic deficit in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
ware displaces the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from their homes turns them into refugee camps.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
such as earthquakes and floods forced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to relocate their residency,
in other words
, it results in refugee. Adding
further
, another common cause of the outcast is social discrimination, in which you are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a home for yourself due to previous misconduct in the society.
Therefore
, to overcome the problem of homelessness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations all over the world is planning to dwindle the miseries of unemployment, discrimination, tension among the nations and confront the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
effectively
.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and non-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
organization should put their best foot forward together to curb the menace and mitigate the miseries of homelessness at all ages in the society.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay There has been an increase in the number of homeless people all around the world. What are the causes of it? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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