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Housing and accommodation has become a major problem in many countries around the world, what any some of the man factors that have contributed to this problem? What can be done to help reduce the number of homeless people? Give reasons for your answer and v.2

Housing and accommodation has become a major problem in many countries around the world, what any some of the man factors that have contributed to this problem? What can be done to help reduce the number of homeless people? 2
Resident and accommodation were a big point at issue in all countries around the world. This article shows about the foremost factors that have assign to this problem is fewer job vacancy and then provide job vacancy and then provide job vacancy with open investment from abroad as the most viable solution, followed by a reasoned conclusion. The main factors that make number of homeless people are fewer job vacancies. Most of people thinking to make money usually must become employee. Increasing amount of company is not proportional with amount of jobless. So many people have not resident and cannot pay the primer cost. Possible solutions to reduce the number homeless people are providing many job vacancies to give permission for foreigners to infestation in Indonesia. Singapore is one of the country has a little unemployment because they are success make many investor from the others country to infestation the money in their countries. To conclude, shelter and accommodations is the most important for many people. People become unemployment because of fewer job vacancy and are of solution for that government give permission for people from the others country to make multinational corporation in Indonesia. So that many corporation and the unemployment can work in the corporation and they can make money for resident and accommodation.
Resident and accommodation were a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
point at issue in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world. This article
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
about the foremost factors that have
Use past participle here: "assigned".
assign
to this problem is fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacancy
and then provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacancy
and then provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacancy
with open investment from abroad as the most viable solution, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

The main factors that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
number of homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacancies
. Most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
thinking to
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make
money
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
become employee. Increasing amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is not proportional with amount of jobless.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
have not resident and cannot pay the primer cost.

Possible solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number homeless
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people
are providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacancies
to give permission for foreigners to infestation in Indonesia. Singapore is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
unemployment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are success
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
Possible agreement error. The noun investor seems to be countable; consider using: "many investors".
many investor
from the others
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country
to infestation the money in their countries.

To conclude
, shelter and accommodations is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
.
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People
become unemployment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacancy
and are of solution for that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
give permission for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
multinational corporation in Indonesia.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that
Possible agreement error. The noun corporation seems to be countable; consider using: "many corporations".
many corporation
and the unemployment can work in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
corporation and
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
money for resident and accommodation.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Housing and accommodation has become a major problem in many countries around the world, what any some of the man factors that have contributed to this problem? What can be done to help reduce the number of homeless people? 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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