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There has been a huge increase in the sizes of the cities. Many cities have grown in an haphazard way. Why is careful planning important in the development of cities? v.1

There has been a huge increase in the sizes of the cities. Many cities have grown in an haphazard way. Why is careful planning important in the development of cities? v. 1
It is undeniable that a rapid growth of global population has led to many spatial problems. One of which is the lack of cities’ capability to accommodate high volume of people that often results in unplanned cities. This phenomenon, however, have disadvantages for urban people in many ways. Therefore, this essay will explain in detail the importance of well-planned cities to prevent non-rural related problems occur. A livable city that is carefully planned can make people living in it have a good quality of health. As a matter of fact, most unorganized cities which have severe congestion often make people suffer from several health issues, namely stress, asthma and high blood pressure. If the government knows how to manage traffic properly and enact appropriate traffic regulations, these kind of problems will not happen. Thus, urban citizens can live physically and mentally healthier because they do not have to face heavy traffic every single day. Another reason is by having a thorough scheme, a city is able to poses less risk of environmental problems. One cannot deny that air, water and land pollution that is now happening in many metropolitan areas mostly occur not only because of vehicle emission but also industrial activities. Some local governments are unlikely to carefully plan about disposal sites in the first place. Hence, now as the cities grow, factories and household waste are mixed up and scattered, causing potential detrimental effects on inhabitants. All of these cases are proofs that make a long-term plan for a city is essential. To sum up, it is likely true that planning cities’ development in a careful way is important because by carrying out this, citizens can have better life. Moreover, potential risks such as health and environmental problems due to mismanagement of cities can also be lowered.
It is undeniable that a rapid growth of global population has led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
spatial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. One of which is the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities’
capability to accommodate high volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
results in unplanned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This phenomenon,
however
, have disadvantages for urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
Therefore
, this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in detail the importance of well-planned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
non-rural related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
occur.

A livable city
that is
carefully
planned can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in it have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality of health. As a matter of fact, most unorganized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
which have severe congestion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from several health issues,
namely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, asthma and high blood pressure. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
knows how to manage traffic
properly
and enact appropriate traffic regulations,
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
will not happen.
Thus
, urban citizens can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
physically
and mentally healthier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face heavy traffic every single day.

Another reason is by having a thorough scheme, a city is able to poses less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. One cannot deny that air, water and land pollution
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
happening in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
metropolitan areas
mostly
occur not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of vehicle emission
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
industrial activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are unlikely to
carefully
plan about disposal sites in the
first
place.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
grow, factories and household waste
are mixed
up and scattered, causing potential detrimental effects on inhabitants. All of these cases are proofs that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a long-term plan for a city is essential.

To sum up, it is likely true that planning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities’
development
Consider replacing "in a careful way" with the adverb for "careful"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a careful way
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by carrying out this, citizens can have better life.
Moreover
, potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
such as health and environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
due to mismanagement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can
also
be lowered
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay There has been a huge increase in the sizes of the cities. Many cities have grown in an haphazard way. Why is careful planning important in the development of cities? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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