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As countries have developed, there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes. Why does this happen? How does this affect society? v.1

As countries have developed, there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes. Why does this happen? How does this affect society? v. 1
Nowadays, smaller family sizes have been gaining popularity in developed countries. There are several reasons why this is the case and some effects it has on society. Due to the good social security system, people do not need to afraid whether their children will take care of them when they in old ages. In this day and age, governments invest an enormous amount of money in the social security system which provides protection for most people. For example, the elderly are able to get pension monthly from governments and the companies they have served before retirement. Another reason is that bringing up a child is costly. Parents need to take good care of them in every aspect of life, such as sending them to a good school, providing a good quality of life, and meeting their daily demands. This trend impact society in many ways. One positive effect is that the population would fall resulting in less poverty in society as there is less competition for scarce resources. Parents can provide a better education for their children and people have more opportunities to choose what career they want to pursue. One negative impact maybe there are less young people in the workforce in the future which do harm to economic growth and future prosperity. In conclusion, due to the perfect social security system and higher costs in raising children, people prefer to have smaller family sizes and this has both positive and negative impacts on society. Regardless of any impacts, this trend gets more and more popular as many countries are developing and become wealthier.
Nowadays, smaller family sizes have been gaining popularity in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
. There are several reasons why this is the case and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effects it has on society.

Due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
social security system,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to afraid whether their children will take care of them when they in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ages. In this day and age,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
invest an enormous amount of money in the social security system which provides protection for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, the elderly are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
pension monthly from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
they have served
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
retirement. Another reason is that bringing up a child is costly. Parents need to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
care of them in every aspect of life, such as sending them to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
school, providing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
quality of life, and meeting their daily demands.

This trend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
society in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect is that the population would fall resulting in less poverty in society as there is less competition for scarce resources. Parents can provide a better education for their children and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more opportunities to choose what career they want to pursue. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
maybe there are less young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the workforce in the future which do harm to economic growth and future prosperity.

In conclusion
, due to the perfect social security system and higher costs in raising children,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to have smaller family sizes and this has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on society. Regardless of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
, this trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
more and more popular as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are developing and become wealthier.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay As countries have developed, there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes. Why does this happen? How does this affect society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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