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The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent onvital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent onvital public services such as schools and hospitals. v. 2
In recent years, governments in many countries have been spending huge funds on space exploration projects. This essay will discuss why I consider this attitude as a waste of money and that this money should be allocated to serve the community. To begin with, these are various reasons why I believe that such space projects should be abandoned. Firstly, these programmes are extremely expensive in terms of the qualified training required for the staff and the special equipment used to complete the missions. Consequently, while this put a substantial pressure on the government' s budget, these funds could be assigned to develop the society in different ways and within various fields. Secondly, space travels are considered a real danger since many of them fail to return to the earth; as a result, they cost many astronauts their lives. Finally, not only are space programmes consume an enormous part of the country' s economy, but also most of them do not present benefits to the people' s lives. On the other hand, I claim that it is much more economically efficient for governments to allocate their finances to other sectors that worth improvement because they tend to create direct positive impact on the community and its members. This is because whereas training astronauts can cost a fortune, it is much cheaper to prepare qualified engineers, doctors, police and other skilled workers who serve the country. Furthermore, unlike the hazards of space programmes, the risks of pubic service work can be easily limited through safety procedures. Besides the lower cost and limited risks, these careers present vital advantages to the public as reducing poverty rates, improving the country' s infrastructure, reforming education and curing diseases. Therefore, People will take the advantage of these services on the short term and on the long term. In conclusion, despite the fact that more funds are being spent on space discoveries in the recent times, I do claim that these expenditures should be cut down and that governments would assign more budget for the public service instead.
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have been spending huge funds on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration projects. This essay will discuss why I consider this attitude as a waste of money and that this money should
be allocated
to serve the community.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, these are various reasons why I believe that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
projects should
be abandoned
.
Firstly
, these
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are
extremely
expensive in terms of the qualified training required for the staff and the special equipment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to complete the missions.
Consequently
, while this put a substantial pressure on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
government&
#039; s budget, these funds could
be assigned
to develop the society in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways and within various fields.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
travels
are considered
a real
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them fail to return to the earth;
as a result
, they cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
astronauts their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Finally
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
consume an enormous part of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s economy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
most of them do not present benefits to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the other hand
, I claim that it is much more
economically
efficient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to allocate their finances to other sectors that worth improvement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they tend to create direct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the community and its members. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
whereas training astronauts can cost a fortune, it is much cheaper to prepare qualified engineers, doctors, police and other skilled workers who serve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Furthermore
, unlike the hazards of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of
Did you mean "public"?
pubic
service work can be
easily
limited through safety procedures.
Besides
the lower cost and limited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, these careers present vital advantages to the public as reducing poverty rates, improving the
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s infrastructure, reforming education and curing diseases.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
will take the advantage of these services on the short term and on the long term.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that more funds are
being spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
discoveries in the recent times, I do claim that these expenditures should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
would assign more budget for the public service
instead
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent onvital public services such as schools and hospitals. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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