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There has been a dramatic growth in the number of people studying at universities in the last few decades. While some people see this as a positive trend which raises the general level of education within the community, others fear that it is lowering the quality of education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the increase in student numbers at university? v.1

There has been a dramatic growth in the number of people studying at universities in the last few decades. While some people see this as a positive trend which raises the general level of education within the community, others fear that it is lowering the quality of education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the increase in student numbers at university? v. 1
As the importance of higher education has been emphasised since the start of the new century, the number of university students has also increased. While many people believe that this is a positive outcome, others argue that this may endanger the quality of education. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of the increased number of university students. The rise in the number of tertiary students has brought several benefits. Many jobs nowadays such as accounting and banking require a university degree. Since there are now more university graduates with the appropriate qualification, employers are able to select from a wider pool of applicants. In addition, an increase in the number of people attending higher education will lead to an increase in the number of highly skilled workers who can earn more. Consequently, the taxes collected from these workers will help to develop better public services. On the other hand, there are also unavoidable negative consequences. In the old day, having a university degree was considered an admirable achievement, whereas this is often considered a societal norm in this day and age. This places pressure on the individuals to be competitive and to extend their academic journey. For example, there are more master's degree and phD holders because having a bachelor's degree alone does not provide a competitive advantage. Apart from this sort of competition, the quality of higher education may be lowered due to the fact that teachers cannot attend to too many students at once. Additionally, there may be insufficient resources to conduct a proper teaching environment for every student. In conclusion, even though many people are becoming more competitive and there is a lot of strain on educational systems, the increase in university students are believed to greatly benefit the employers and the society as a whole. I am therefore of the opinion that this increase is a positive trend.
As the importance of higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has been
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasised' is British English.
emphasised
since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the new century, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has
also
increased. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome, others argue that this may endanger the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of the increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
students.

The rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has brought several benefits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
jobs nowadays such as accounting and banking require a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
. Since there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduates with the appropriate qualification, employers are able to select from a wider pool of applicants.
In addition
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
attending higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will lead to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
highly
skilled workers who can earn more.
Consequently
, the taxes collected from these workers will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develop better public services.

On the other hand
, there are
also
unavoidable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences. In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
day, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
was considered
an admirable achievement, whereas this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered a societal norm in this day and age.
Did you mean "these"?
This
places pressure on the individuals to be competitive and to extend their academic journey.
For example
, there are more
Incorrect plural form; it does not need any apostrophe. Did you mean "masters"?
master's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
phD
holders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
having a bachelor's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
alone does not provide a competitive advantage. Apart from this sort of competition, the quality of higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
may
be lowered
due to the fact that teachers cannot attend to too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at once.
Additionally
, there may be insufficient resources to conduct a proper teaching environment for every student.

In conclusion
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are becoming more competitive and there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
strain on educational systems, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are believed
to
greatly
benefit the employers and the society as a whole. I am
therefore
of the opinion that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay There has been a dramatic growth in the number of people studying at universities in the last few decades. While some people see this as a positive trend which raises the general level of education within the community, others fear that it is lowering the quality of education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the increase in student numbers at university? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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