Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some People think that using animals for food and transportation should be completely banned. On the other hand, other people believe that using animals for meat and experiments is fair. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion v.1

Some People think that using animals for food and transportation should be completely banned. On the other hand, other people believe that using animals for meat and experiments is fair. 1
In the current scenario, for the sake of convenience, the animals are being exploited regularly by humans in a plethora of ways. People’s opinions differ as to whether the animals should be used or not. I also accord with the strong arguments against the utilization of animals for commercial purposes. There are umpteen harmful effects on the animals when they are utilized for the domestic purposes. First and foremost reason for banning the usage of animals is animal cruelty. There are myriad of animals which are killed for the purpose of food. People sometimes overuse domestic animals by overloading them with heavy materials like bricks. They are not even given proper foodstuffs to eat, which leads to the deterioration of their health. For example, some laboratories for medicines and cosmetic products perform dangerous experiments on various animals and even use their bones in medications and beauty products. However, killing animals for meat is not completely wrong, if there is no meat, people will leave only with the option of eating vegetables and which will impact our food chain. As there is a limited supply of crops and vegetables, which cannot fulfill the demand and supply requirement of everyone. This will cause a disastrous impact like famine as there will be scarcity of eatable products. Some places like rural areas do not even have proper transportation facilities like cars and buses. The people have to rely only on the animals to travel from one place to another. For example, In India, there are many villages where there is the scarcity of transportation and people use cow carts for their travel. To encapsulate, using animals has some positives, but its negatives outweigh but banning them is not a solution. So, the government should formulate some regulatory authorities in order to keep the check on the commercial and domestic usage of animals to avoid their exploitation.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario, for the sake of convenience, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
being exploited
regularly
by humans in a plethora of ways.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People’s
opinions differ
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
or not. I
also
accord with the strong arguments against the utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for commercial purposes.

There are umpteen harmful effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
when they
are utilized
for the domestic purposes.
First
and foremost reason for banning the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
cruelty. There are myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which
are killed
for the purpose of food.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
overuse domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by overloading them with heavy materials like bricks. They are not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
proper foodstuffs to eat, which leads to the deterioration of their health.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
laboratories for medicines and cosmetic products perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
experiments on various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their bones in medications and beauty products.

However
, killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for meat is not completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, if there is no meat,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with the option of eating vegetables and which will impact our food chain. As there is a limited supply of crops and vegetables, which cannot fulfill the demand and supply requirement of everyone. This will cause a disastrous impact like famine as there will be scarcity of eatable products.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
places like rural areas do not even have proper transportation facilities like cars and buses. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to travel from one place to another.
For example
, In India, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
villages where there is the scarcity of transportation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cow carts for their travel.

To encapsulate, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
positives,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its negatives outweigh
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
banning them is not a solution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should formulate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regulatory authorities in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on the commercial and domestic usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to avoid their exploitation.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some People think that using animals for food and transportation should be completely banned. On the other hand, other people believe that using animals for meat and experiments is fair. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts