Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

There are various reasons for attending colleges and universities and getting a job is definitely one of them. However, many other reasons drive us to enrol in a college or university. v.3

There are various reasons for attending colleges and universities and getting a job is definitely one of them. However, many other reasons drive us to enrol in a college or university. v. 3
Most of the people perceive that a tertiary level of education is important. So they attend colleges and universities for certain reasons. It is because enrolling to these institutions will later give them a better and convenient life as well as to make them academically knowledgeable that subsequently use in their future circumstances as will now be analysed. Firstly, one reason behind why people continue to pursue their education at universities is that this will give them a comfortable life. For instance, I finished my bachelor’s degree in nursing at the University of Baguio in Baguio city, Philippines. Then successfully passed my national exam and has worked in one of the best hospitals in Melbourne, Australia, the Royal Melbourne Hospital. I have had a good paying job and nursing career that made me provide not only my basic needs but also the physiological needs of my family. In fact, I was able to buy my family a Ferrari van that makes their transportation easy and convenient. So this is one of the good reasons why people want to finish the college or university education. Another reason people go to colleges is they want to become academically knowledgeable that would later be used in their future encounters. For example, while studying nursing at my university, I become a critically-minded individual because I learned to reason out soundly and have made better decisions in my life. I also have known the scientific method of problem-solving which I always use whenever I face inevitable conflicts. Thus, this purpose can be seen also a reason for people to go to colleges and universities. In conclusion, to have a better and convenient life with own family in the future, and to become academically knowledgeable that would be later used in their future circumstances are two of the many purposes that people think why they go to colleges and universities. There are many different reasons why they do this. So I think that it is always been a good idea to continue and pursue a higher education, so go and enroll to universities.
Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perceive that a tertiary level of education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they attend colleges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
enrolling to these institutions will later give them a better and convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as well
as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
academically
knowledgeable that
subsequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
circumstances as will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
.

Firstly
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continue to pursue their education at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is that this will give them a comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, I finished my bachelor’s degree in nursing at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Baguio in Baguio city, Philippines. Then
successfully
passed my national exam and has worked in one of the best hospitals in Melbourne, Australia, the Royal Melbourne Hospital. I have had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
paying job and nursing career that made me provide not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
my basic needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the physiological needs of my family. In fact, I was able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
my family a Ferrari van that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their transportation easy and convenient.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this is one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to finish the college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to colleges is they want to become
academically
knowledgeable that would later be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
encounters.
For example
, while studying nursing at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, I become a
critically
-minded individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I learned to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
out
soundly
and have made better decisions in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I
also
have known the scientific method of problem-solving which I always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
whenever I face inevitable conflicts.
Thus
, this purpose can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go to colleges and universities.

In conclusion
, to have a better and convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, and to become
academically
knowledgeable that would be later
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
circumstances are two of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
purposes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
why they go to colleges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why they do this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is always been a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to continue and pursue a higher education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
go and enroll to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay There are various reasons for attending colleges and universities and getting a job is definitely one of them. However, many other reasons drive us to enrol in a college or university. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts