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There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What form do these problems take? Do problems of using mobile phones outweigh the benefits? v.5

There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What form do these problems take? Do problems of using mobile phones outweigh the benefits? v. 5
In these days, implications of mobile phones for users has received a great deal of public attention. Although this phenomenon is not without disadvantages, the upsides would be far more significant. Cell phones certainly exerts some detrimental impacts to users. First, since frequent exposure to radiation is created by high frequency from cellular phones, using them could be harmful to human health. In fact, long-time heavy phone users seem to be more prone to adversely effect on their brain and certain types of cancers. Second, people may lack face to face communication and even worsen several their relationships due to the excessive use of mobile phones. In addition to this, by obsessing phones’ convenience, people have triggered enormous disturbance. That is the reason why the usage of cell phones has been prohibited in many public places such as libraries, theatres, hospital… There are, however, some dazzling advantages that can easily overshadow the drawbacks of the harness of mobile phones. First, cell phones may be key social tools and increase the speed of communication. Consequently, users are able to keep in touch with their relatives and friends with a great distance. Second, the significant development of smartphones and its applications provide people with a plethora of entertainment such as gaming, surfing the Internet, along with listening to music. This means people may relieve their stress more easily and boost their productivity in their work as well as in the study. In conclusion, I would concede that the use of mobile phones does come with some adverse effects, yet the benefits created by it far eclipse the downsides. It is suggested that every phone user should use them wisely to take all advantages.
In these days, implications of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
has received a great deal of public attention. Although this phenomenon is not without disadvantages, the upsides would be far more significant.

Cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
certainly
exerts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental impacts to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
.
First
, since frequent exposure to radiation
is created
by high frequency from cellular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, using them could be harmful to human health. In fact, long-time heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
seem to be more prone to
adversely
effect on their brain and certain types of cancers. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may lack face to face communication and even worsen several their relationships due to the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
In addition
to this, by obsessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones’
convenience,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have triggered enormous disturbance.
That is
the reason why the usage of cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
has
been prohibited
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
public places such as libraries,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
, hospital…

There are,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dazzling advantages that can
easily
overshadow the drawbacks of the harness of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
First
, cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
may be key social tools and increase the speed of communication.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their relatives and friends with a great distance. Second, the significant development of smartphones and its applications provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a plethora of entertainment such as gaming, surfing the Internet, along with listening to music. This means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may relieve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
more
easily
and boost their productivity in their work
as well
as in the study.

In conclusion
, I would concede that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse effects,
yet
the benefits created by it far eclipse the downsides. It
is suggested
that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them
wisely
to take all advantages.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What form do these problems take? Do problems of using mobile phones outweigh the benefits? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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