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There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the of mobile phone. What form do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of mobile phone. v.1

There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the of mobile phone. What form do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of mobile phone. v. 1
Mobile phone is one of the inventory that has helped mankind. Distance barriers is a forgotten issue with this communication device. Recent upgrade such as the social media and the use of internet is an added advantage to this technology. It is said that there cannot be roses withot thorn, this is also applicable to the use of mobile phone. I agree that the merits of the above mentioned device outweigh its problem. Mobile phone as the name implies is a portable device for communication. Thereby, it is movable and can be used to reach people in various locations. Also, it has been known to be the easiest and fastest means of reaching out to people in times of distress or emergency. Furthermore, the use of internet and social media has modified mobile phones. For instance, other than regular calls and text messages, pictures can be taken with a phone and sent out to friends, daily news are accessible with the use of the internet and different chat sites are available to connect people all over the world mostly beneficial for business purposes, can also be a source of entertainment. On the other hand, the use of mobile phone is gradually replacing the traditional way of communication which is letter writting and face to face interaction. People prefer to call or text than arranging physical meetings and one on one conversation. Secondly, mobile phones are know to emit infra red rays. A recent research by the American Institute of cancer shows that this ray, is the leading cause of cancer to any part of the body that is being exposed to the ray. In conclusion, i pen down saying that, the advantages of mobile phone far outweigh its disadvantages. Mobile phone definitely has brought a solution to distance problem, makes work simpler and makes communication quite entertaining.
Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is one of the inventory that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
mankind. Distance barriers is a forgotten issue with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
device. Recent upgrade such as the social media and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
advantage to this technology. It
is said
that there cannot be roses
Possible spelling mistake found.
withot
thorn, this is
also
applicable to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the merits of the above mentioned device outweigh its problem.

Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
as the name implies is a portable device for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. Thereby, it is movable and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in various locations.
Also
, it has
been known
to be the easiest and fastest means of reaching out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in times of distress or emergency.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet and social media has modified mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
For instance
, other than regular calls and text messages, pictures can
be taken
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
out to friends, daily news are accessible with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
chat sites are available to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world
mostly
beneficial for business purposes, can
also
be a source of entertainment.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is
gradually
replacing the traditional way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
which is letter
Possible spelling mistake found.
writting
and face to face interaction.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
prefer to call or text than arranging physical meetings and one on one conversation.
Secondly
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are know to emit
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
infra red
rays. A recent research by the American Institute of cancer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that this ray, is the leading cause of cancer to any part of the body
that is
being exposed
to the ray.

In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
pen down saying that, the advantages of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
far outweigh its disadvantages. Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
definitely has brought a solution to distance problem,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
work simpler and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
quite entertaining.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the of mobile phone. What form do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of mobile phone. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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