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Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don't wantbtheir children tobread any entertainment books because they think it is a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? why? v.1

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don't wantbtheir children tobread any entertainment books because they think it is a waste of time. with this opinion? why? v. 1
Books plays a crucial role in everyone's life. most people choose them to read according to their interest. Reading academic books is believed by some parents to be more significant for their children; however, entertainment books has no importance in their mental growth. In my opinion, i disagree with this because i feel that both of these educational and entertainment books hold equal importance for adolescent. There are several reasons why children should read academic books. one of the most indispensable reason is that these may enhance concentration on their study by acquiring a depth knowledge about the curriculum syllabus, resulting in obtaining the outstanding performance in the examinations. Moreover, by reading academic syllabus is usually generates logically thinking skill in order to compete with other students in logical thinking based quiz competition. For example, during my school days most of the time i used to solve mathematics exercises. So, this subject helped me to attain logical thinking skill. As a result, owing to these reasons i agree with this notion that children should focus on school syllabus. There is no doubt that recreational books have also numerous advantages. These oftenly boost the mental strength of adolescent since such textbooks would definitely help in diminishing their stress level by reading interesting stories. When children access such materials then their imagination skill is more likely to improved. Due to this they will be more creative person in their life. Nevertheless, if they do not read them in their childhood, obviously they will be less creative than those children who read them. Hence, such textbooks have positive influence on their growth. So, that's why i would like to demonstrate that entertainment sources should be read by them. In conclusion, although the academic books have tremendous impact on their life because of certain benefits but, i believe that enjoyable textbooks develop not only mental strength, but also able to generate more creative skills.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "Book plays" or "Books play".
Books plays
a crucial role in everyone's life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
according to their interest. Reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents to be more significant for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
;
however
, entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
has no importance in their mental growth. In my opinion,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
disagree with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
feel that both of these educational and entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
hold equal importance for adolescent.

There are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
of the most indispensable
Please check whether a plural form of 'reason' should be used.
reason
is that these may enhance concentration on their study by acquiring a depth knowledge about the curriculum syllabus, resulting in obtaining the outstanding performance in the examinations.
Moreover
, by reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
syllabus is
usually
generates
logically
thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
in order to compete with other students in logical thinking based quiz competition.
For example
, during my school days most of the time
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to solve mathematics exercises.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this subject
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to attain logical thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
.
As a result
, owing to these reasons
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should focus on school syllabus.

There is no doubt that recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have
also
numerous advantages. These
Possible spelling mistake found.
oftenly
boost the mental strength of adolescent since such textbooks would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in diminishing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level by reading interesting stories.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
access such materials then their imagination
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. Due to this they will be more creative person in their life.
Nevertheless
, if they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
them in their childhood,
obviously
they will be less creative than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
them.
Hence
, such textbooks have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on their growth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, that's why
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to demonstrate that entertainment sources should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
by them.

In conclusion
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have tremendous impact on their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of certain benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that enjoyable textbooks develop not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mental strength,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
able to generate more creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don't wantbtheir children tobread any entertainment books because they think it is a waste of time. with this opinion? why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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