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There are severe social consequences to housing shortages in cities and only the government can solve these problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

There are severe social consequences to housing shortages in cities and only the government can solve these problems. v. 1
It has been argued that the lack of housing in towns lead to unbearable social issues and merely the government authorities have the capability to handle those problems. However, I completely disagree with the statement because there are other platforms to resolve these issues. Firstly, considering the individual contribution towards the society, can minimize the problems due to lack of houses. In other words, in order to reduce the problems everyone need to treat these social issues as their responsibility. By having enough support of individuals, the majority of issues related to housing will be resolved. Moreover, considering it as an individual problem, thus people can sort out the issues of community level. With the resolution of every community, apparently it leads to solve the nations. Apart from the individuals help, we do have several organizations whose primary focus is to look after the various accommodation related issues. As part of companies, by providing enormous support in terms of funds, awareness about the problem, and by precautionary measurements to avoid those unnecessary housing issues. In addition to that, with the limited functions of oraganization result in a drastic decrease in society concerns. For instance, in India, over 70 per cenatge of issues will be solved by handling them as community level instead treating them as the government responsibility to resolve. To conclude, in my view, the social issues will treated as negligible and able to provide proper solutions with enormous support of individual and other communities.
It has
been argued
that the lack of housing in towns lead to unbearable social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and
merely
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
authorities have the capability to handle those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
However
, I completely disagree with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are other platforms to resolve these issues.

Firstly
, considering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
contribution towards the society, can minimize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
due to lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
In other words
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
everyone need to treat these social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
as their responsibility. By having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
support of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
related to housing will
be resolved
.
Moreover
, considering it as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can sort out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
level. With the resolution of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
,
apparently
it leads to solve the nations.

Apart from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, we do have several organizations whose primary focus is to look after the various accommodation related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. As part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, by providing enormous support in terms of funds, awareness about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, and by precautionary measurements to avoid those unnecessary housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
In addition
to that, with the limited functions of
Possible spelling mistake found.
oraganization
result in a drastic decrease in society concerns.
For instance
, in India, over 70 per
Possible spelling mistake found.
cenatge
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
will
be solved
by handling them as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
level
instead
treating them as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
responsibility to resolve.

To conclude
, in my view, the social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
will treated as negligible and able to provide proper solutions with enormous support of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay There are severe social consequences to housing shortages in cities and only the government can solve these problems. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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