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Many countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects v.1

Many countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects v. 1
In recent years, migration from farming locations to cities to work is causing serious problems in many countries. Moreover, the number of people who move from rural areas to cities is gradually increasing. This essay will examine some relevant problems and solutions. There are several vital problems of this phenomenon. Firstly, it damages the rural areas’ economy and worsens the competition at job market in cities. To put it another way, the labor shortage will be aroused due to the movement of people. Secondly, the disparity between countryside’s and urban cities will deepen. As the population is centralized in cities, the government have to construct more infrastructures in cities than rural areas. Therefore, people who live in countryside have no choice but move to the cities to get better education and health care. Despite these problems mentioned above, some plausible solutions are suggested. Firstly, replacement of big companies and factories to rural areas can be a good solution. the government should give some financial benefits such as reduction of taxes to the companies and factories for invigoration economy of countryside. Secondly, the local government needs to establish some services for supporting people who moved from cities. Moreover, expanding infrastructures is also important because we have to make rural areas excellent places to live for preventing the movement of people. In conclusion, it is true that the migration of people from rural areas to cities is a complicated problem to solve. However, it is important to make both places, rural and urban areas, places to live because both areas influence each other considerably in various ways.
In recent years, migration from farming locations to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to work is causing serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
Moreover
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
gradually
increasing. This essay will examine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and solutions.

There are several vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of this phenomenon.
Firstly
, it damages the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas’
economy and worsens the competition at job market in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. To put it another way, the labor shortage will
be aroused
due to the movement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Secondly
, the disparity between countryside’s and urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
will deepen. As the population
is centralized
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
construct more infrastructures in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in countryside have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better education and health care.

Despite these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
mentioned above,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plausible solutions
are suggested
.
Firstly
, replacement of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and factories to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
financial benefits such as reduction of taxes to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and factories for invigoration economy of countryside.
Secondly
, the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to establish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
services for supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Moreover
, expanding infrastructures is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
excellent places to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for preventing the movement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, it is true that the migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is a complicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to solve.
However
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
both places,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
and urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, places to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
influence each other
considerably
in various ways.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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