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There are more new towns being built nowadays. It is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for individuals to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

There are more new towns being built nowadays. It is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for individuals to spend their free time. v. 1
Building healthy, functional, and productive cities are perhaps the greatest challenge facing humanity today. A key part of these cities is the public spaces. I disagree with the given statement, which says that parks and sports facilities are better than shopping centres as public spaces. I firmly believe that shopping centres are as important as parks and sports facilities, so when designing new towns, all these public spaces should be given equal importance. To begin with, public parks if developed as “places” and planned around major public destinations, build social connection and human happiness — both precious commodities in an increasingly congested urban landscape. A great urban park is a safety valve for the city, where people living in high density can find breathing room. Public parks are places where all people feel safe to play and relax, and can relieve stress. Another benefit is that crime rates and gang activities go down when more people are out on the street and know their neighbors. These places also have substantial environmental benefits. Trees reduce air and water pollution and thus they help to keep cities cooler. Furthermore, sports facilities need to be designed and constructed so as to be functional as well as attractive in a way that encourages people to do sports and boost their feeling of wellbeing. Modern lifestyle is very sedentary, and such public spaces such as stadia and playgrounds would definitely promote active living and provide important physical, psychological and social health benefits for individuals and the community. Visiting a shopping centre is one of most desirable activities of people everywhere in the world. Today, it is observed that shopping centers are used as public spaces by many urban inhabitants. Shopping centers have become places where social life is experienced and leisure time is spent through a wide range of activities offered besides shopping. For example, some shopping malls have skating rinks, where parents and children can spend good time together and have fun. The elderly come there for sitting and relaxing on the sofas and couches placed at regular intervals. To sum up, public parks, sports facilities and shopping centres are all equally important public spaces. They are different, but have a common role of improving the life of urban residents in their own specific way.
Building healthy, functional, and productive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are perhaps the greatest challenge facing humanity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. A key part of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
. I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement, which says that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities are better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
. I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when designing new towns, all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal importance.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
if developed as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“places”
and planned around major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
destinations, build social connection and human happiness — both precious commodities in an
increasingly
congested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
landscape. A great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
is a safety valve for the city, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in high density can find breathing room.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel safe to play and relax, and can relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. Another benefit is that crime rates and gang activities go down when more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are out on the street and know their neighbors. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
also
have substantial environmental benefits. Trees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
air and water pollution and
thus
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
cooler.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities need to
be designed
and constructed
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
be functional
as well
as attractive in a way that encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and boost their feeling of
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
. Modern lifestyle is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sedentary, and such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
stadia
and playgrounds would definitely promote active living and provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
physical, psychological and social health benefits for individuals and the community.

Visiting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
is one of most desirable activities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
everywhere in the world.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, it
is observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
inhabitants.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
centers have become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where social life
is experienced
and leisure time
is spent
through a wide range of activities offered
besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls have skating rinks, where parents and children can spend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time together and have fun. The elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
there for sitting and relaxing on the sofas and couches placed at regular intervals.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are all
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
. They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have a common role of improving the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
residents in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
specific way.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
51Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay There are more new towns being built nowadays. It is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for individuals to spend their free time. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
381 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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