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When new towns are planned, it is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

When new towns are planned, it is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. with this statement? v. 1
In the modern city has been growing rapidly, whereas, the population needs more property which developing outside of the city border. The new location needs more public facilities such as parks, pitch and shopping centres. This essay agrees with the statements of public facilities, because of the environmental factors and enhancing social activities in the facilities. The major argument on this essay was investigated to find the benefits of these local centres. First argues is, that the environment is the effect on the majority of the population on their lifestyle. For instance, the shopping centres classification in the two main locations. Firstly, the most majority of the shopping centre can be open in the streets. Thus, the city planner needs more roads and streets for covering to establish these areas. Secondly, the huge buildings might include all the shops in the only facility. So, the planner needs to find more property. Moreover, vast centres have an effect on traffic congestion. The new location might be withheld from natural wildlife. Thus, it might be wrick havoc on the living organism. The second argues it is possible therefore that the citizen can find social interaction. For instance, sports facilities can gather people, both in the same place and activity. Thus, people can find to meet each other. Building more parks are the other argument and reason for important facilities. The parks perform better than the shopping centre. Because the people are happier and chill in the parks via natural sound and social interactions. Most of the research reported that natural life improves human life quality. To the sum, the reason for the environment and social facilities show that the priority of establishing shopping centre tends to increase more drawbacks of city life due to demonstrating natural life and insulate human interactions. This essay concluded that social facilities give more opportunities to enhance the structure of the city mechanism.
In the modern city has been growing
rapidly
, whereas, the population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
more property which developing
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the city border. The new location
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
more public facilities such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
, pitch and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the statements of public facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the environmental factors and enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activities in the facilities. The major argument on this essay
was investigated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
the benefits of these local
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.

First
argues is, that the environment is the effect on the majority of the population on their lifestyle.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
classification in the two main locations.
Firstly
, the most majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
can be open in the streets.
Thus
, the city planner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
more roads and streets for covering to establish these areas.
Secondly
, the huge buildings might include all the shops in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
facility.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the planner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
more property.
Moreover
, vast
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
have an effect on traffic congestion. The new location might
be withheld
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
wildlife.
Thus
, it might be
Possible spelling mistake found.
wrick
havoc on the living organism.

The second argues it is possible
therefore
that the citizen can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction.
For instance
, sports facilities can gather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, both in the same place and activity.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each other. Building more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
are the other argument and reason for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
facilities. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
perform better than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are happier and chill in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
sound and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interactions. Most of the research reported that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
quality.

To the sum, the reason for the environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the priority of establishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
tends to increase more drawbacks of city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
due to demonstrating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and insulate human interactions. This essay concluded that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
facilities give more opportunities to enhance the structure of the city mechanism.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay When new towns are planned, it is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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