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There are many reasons that can be attributed for attending colleges and universities; for example, job opportunity, new experience, enhancing knowledge etc. v.1

There are many reasons that can be attributed for attending colleges and universities; for example, job opportunity, new experience, enhancing knowledge etc. v. 1
Certain people opt to go to College or University for a variety of purposes. One of the reasons is to gain more experiences. Other factors are for career preparation and to enhance one's knowledge. This essay will discuss the reasons why people prefer to go to a Higher Educational System. It is believed that an individual, who has a College degree, will have the chance to find a full time and stable job. Nowadays, holding a College diploma is one of the requirements for many job companies. Moreover, attending College or University will provide the opportunity for the students to be exposed to new experiences. For example, meeting new friends and having an expanded awareness of self would make an individual grow up because the student will be disclosed to a new environment. By saying this, students have lots of opportunities to face challenges while studying at the University or College. In addition, students going to Colleges will prepare oneself in achieving their dream job or career. It is also a chance that students will be trained to a higher level of learning. Most of the Colleges and Universities at present are offering specialised courses like technical skills. These courses are also attended by many people because of their interests and at the same time to gain more proficiency in one's field of concern. An example of this is knowledge about computers and electronic systems. In conclusion, getting an additional learning, gathering new experiences and preparing for a career opportunity in the future are the main reasons for many people who want to have a higher educational learning. In this way, students will have the chance to find a better job in the future.
Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt to go to College or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
for a variety of purposes. One of the reasons is to gain more experiences. Other factors are for career preparation and to enhance one's knowledge. This essay will discuss the reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to go to a Higher Educational System.

It
is believed
that an individual, who has a College degree, will have the chance to find a full time and stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Nowadays, holding a College diploma is one of the requirements for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Moreover
, attending College or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
will provide the opportunity for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
be exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiences.
For example
, meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends and having an expanded awareness of self would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an individual grow up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will
be disclosed
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environment. By saying this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have lots of opportunities to face challenges while studying at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
or College.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
going to Colleges will prepare oneself in achieving their dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or career. It is
also
a chance that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
be trained
to a higher level of learning. Most of the Colleges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
at present are offering
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
courses like technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. These courses are
also
attended by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their interests and at the same time to gain more proficiency in one's field of concern. An example of this is knowledge about computers and electronic systems.

In conclusion
, getting an additional learning, gathering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiences and preparing for a career opportunity in the future are the main reasons for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to have a higher educational learning. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have the chance to find a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the future.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay There are many reasons that can be attributed for attending colleges and universities; for example, job opportunity, new experience, enhancing knowledge etc. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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