Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, young people at the age of 18 are considered adults and can drive a car, vote and get married, while other countries don't allow it. What age do you think is the best to be considered an adult? Give reasons and examples. v.7

In some countries, young people at the age of 18 are considered adults and can drive a car, vote and get married, while other countries don't allow it. What age do you think is the best to be considered an adult? Give reasons and examples. v. 7
In many countries the age at which one is considered a legal adult is typically 18, but in some other countries one's legal adulthood only starts when he or she turns 21. What defines a legal adult is the ability to legally work, participate in contracts, vote, marry, give sexual consent, and join the military. However, I personally think that the proper age of being an adult should be 21. In this essay, I am going to explain the reasons for this stand. First, although one might assume that most 18-year-olds have reached maturity, research has shown that adolescence actually extends into the early 20s. An 18-year-old's mindset is not fully maturing. They are young adults on their way to explore the world, to experience and to learn new things. Thus, some of them try to act cool like women and men when they do not even know how to handle responsibilities as adults. For example, they go clubbing and drinking but never learn about the consequences. Accident statistics in many states in the U. S. showed a substantial jump in the number of drunken driving accidents involving 18 to 20-year-olds. Second, in reality, most young adults are still in high school when they are 18 years old and they do not have a job. Therefore, they are not ready for all of the physical and mental challenges that go along with being an adult such as raising a family or supporting themselves. For many parents, the term legal adult does not mean their children possess certain adult characteristics. For example, being an adult implies being able to make mature decisions, participate in civic matters, have self-control, and be responsible. Some 18-year-olds simply lack these characteristics and need further time to develop them. It is quite clear that when children turn to 21 years old, they have already been in colleges and have had some life experiences, therefore, they understand how to responsible for their actions. In conclusion, 18-year-olds are not matured enough to be considered adults. The best age should be 21 when one is better prepared to take on adult responsibilities.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries the age at which one
is considered
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
legal
adult is
typically
18,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other countries one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
legal
adulthood
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
when he or she turns 21. What defines a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
legal
adult is the ability to
legally
work, participate in contracts, vote, marry, give sexual consent, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the military.
However
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the proper age of being an adult should be 21. In this essay, I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reasons for this stand.

First
, although one might assume that most 18-year-olds have reached maturity, research has shown that adolescence actually extends into the early 20s. An 18-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
's mindset is not
fully
maturing. They are young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
on their way to explore the world, to experience and to learn new things.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them try to act cool like women and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
when they do not even know how to handle responsibilities as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
.
For example
, they go clubbing and drinking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
never learn about the consequences. Accident statistics in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
states in the U. S.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a substantial jump in the number of drunken driving accidents involving 18 to 20-year-olds.

Second, in reality, most young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are
still
in high school when they are 18 years
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
old and
they do not have a job.
Therefore
, they are not ready for
Consider using "all the".
all of the
physical and mental challenges that go along with being an adult such as raising a family or supporting themselves. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents, the term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
legal
adult does not mean their children possess certain adult characteristics.
For example
, being an adult implies being able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mature decisions, participate in civic matters, have self-control, and be responsible.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
18-year-olds
simply
lack these characteristics and need
further
time to develop them. It is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that when children turn to 21 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, they have already been in colleges and have had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
life experiences,
therefore
, they understand how to responsible for their actions.

In conclusion
, 18-year-olds are not matured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
be considered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
. The best age should be 21 when one is better prepared to take on adult responsibilities.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, young people at the age of 18 are considered adults and can drive a car, vote and get married, while other countries don't allow it. What age do you think is the best to be considered an adult? Give reasons and examples. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts