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There are many problems caused by mobile phones. What are the advantages of mobile phones? What are the disadvantages? v.4

There are many problems caused by mobile phones. What are the advantages of mobile phones? What are the disadvantages? v. 4
Originally designed as a portable device for communication, mobile phones have since conquered most aspects of human life. In this essay, I would like to discuss a number of benefits and setbacks of mobile phones. Admittedly, recent mobile devices connect users to the world and more. Not only a typical user can maintain a social life with friends and relatives half the world away but he or she can also access to latest world news, entertainment notices, tech updates, even online food and lifestyle services. If interested, everything can be ready in a few clicks away. Furthermore, this mobile invasion comes with booming business opportunities. Mobile phone’s popularity has created millions of jobs in the market, from programmers, business analysts, IT managers to online shop owners, streamers, and shippers. Another important benefit of a smartphone is its accessibility to endless sources of knowledge. People can read from reputed newspapers, prestigious e-archives, online libraries, and countless specialized applications for free or with a small premium. For lifelong learners, the horizon has never been brighter. Even though mobiles have become powerful supplements to human life, they come with some dangerous side effects. First of all, many mobile applications are designed to maintain engagement with users; thanks to this, we are easily moving from one distraction to the next distraction. It is the norms for many to wake up or go to bed surfing emails or social media; not to count the number of checking times in between for hundreds of notifications and reminders while at work or gatherings. Multiple reports have been made on accidents due to texting while driving. Next, spending a lot of time on mobiles could also lead to sedentary lifestyles and anti-social issues. Lack of exercises can cause adverse health issues such as obesity and diabetes while lack of real-life connections might increase the risks of depression and social anxiety. Overall, even though mobile phones provide endless opportunities to connect with others, build and run businesses as well as enhance our knowledge at the fingertips, they come with the risks of being distracted easily, unhealthy lifestyles and anti-social issues.
Originally
designed as a portable device for communication, mobile phones have since conquered most aspects of human life. In this essay, I would like to discuss a number of benefits and setbacks of mobile phones.

Admittedly
, recent mobile devices connect users to the world and more. Not
only
a typical user can maintain a social life with friends and relatives half the world away
but
he or she can
also
access to
latest
world news, entertainment notices, tech updates, even online food and lifestyle services. If interested, everything can be ready in a few clicks away.
Furthermore
, this mobile invasion
comes
with booming business opportunities. Mobile phone’s popularity has created millions of jobs in the market, from programmers, business analysts, IT managers to online shop owners, streamers, and shippers. Another
important
benefit of a smartphone is its accessibility to endless sources of knowledge.
People
can read from reputed newspapers, prestigious e-archives, online libraries, and countless specialized applications for free or with a
small
premium. For lifelong learners, the horizon has never been brighter.

Even though
mobiles have become powerful supplements to human life, they
come
with
some
dangerous
side effects.
First of all
,
many
mobile applications
are designed
to maintain engagement with users; thanks to this, we are
easily
moving from one distraction to the
next
distraction. It is the norms for
many
to wake up or go to bed surfing emails or social media; not to count the number of checking times in between for hundreds of notifications and reminders while at work or gatherings. Multiple reports have
been made
on accidents due to texting while driving.
Next
, spending
a lot of
time on mobiles could
also
lead to sedentary lifestyles and anti-social issues. Lack of exercises can cause adverse health issues such as obesity and diabetes while lack of real-life connections might increase the
risks
of depression and social anxiety.

Overall
,
even though
mobile phones provide endless opportunities to connect with others, build and run businesses
as well
as enhance our knowledge at the fingertips, they
come
with the
risks
of
being distracted
easily
, unhealthy lifestyles and anti-social issues.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay There are many problems caused by mobile phones. What are the advantages of mobile phones? What are the disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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