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There are many problems caused by mobile phones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones? v.3

There are many problems caused by mobile phones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones? v. 3
Mobile phones have become the necessity of our day-to -day life. Howerver, there are myriads of issues created by cell phones. On the positive side, mobile phone is the best cut -edge technological device for communication. We can stay in touch with our relatives and friends in every emergency situation that can occur. Furthermore, parents can be aware of their children and this is the reason the mobile phone has become a compulsory gadget that everyone can not imagine his life without. For example, when my children are out of home and have various stuff to handle, I always know about their activities and their location due to the mobile phone, which help us to be in permanent direct contact with each other. It creates kind an atmosphere of safety for a parent and a kid. As every garden has some weeds, the mobile phones also have many downsides. One of the negative sides of the mobile phone is its harmful impact on humans’ health. For instance, late night chats, mobile games on bright screen can lead to eye problems and also to a sleep disorders. What is more, many scientists prove that network waves can result in skin cancers, which is extremely fatigue for every person. These all are extremely dangerous for health and brings to a grave results such as headaches and skin diseases. To sum up, mobile phone is necessary for our modern lives today. However, it is helpful or not, depends on our ways of using it. It will be beneficial for us if we use it correctly on true purpose and on appropriate time.
Mobile
phones
have become the necessity of our day-to -day life.
Howerver
, there are myriads of issues created by cell phones.

On the
positive
side, mobile
phone
is the best
cut
-edge technological device for communication. We can stay in touch with our relatives and friends in every emergency situation that can occur.
Furthermore
, parents can be aware of their children and this is the reason the mobile
phone
has become a compulsory gadget that everyone can not imagine his life without.
For example
, when my children are out of home and have various stuff to handle, I always know about their activities and their location due to the mobile
phone
, which
help
us to be in permanent direct contact with each other. It creates kind an atmosphere of safety for a parent and a kid.

As every garden has
some
weeds, the mobile
phones
also
have
many
downsides. One of the
negative
sides of the mobile
phone
is its harmful impact on humans’ health.
For instance
, late night chats, mobile games on bright screen can lead to eye problems and
also
to a sleep disorders.
What is more
,
many
scientists prove that network waves can result in skin cancers, which is
extremely
fatigue for every person. These all are
extremely
dangerous
for health and brings to a grave results such as headaches and skin diseases.

To sum up, mobile
phone
is necessary for our modern
lives
today
.
However
, it is helpful or not, depends on our ways of using it. It will be beneficial for us if we
use
it
correctly
on true purpose and on appropriate time.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay There are many problems caused by mobile phones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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