Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that family has the most powerful influence in a child's development. Other's say that other factors such as (television, friend, music etc. ) play a greater role today. Discuss + and -. v.2

Some people say that family has the most powerful influence in a child's development. Other's say that other factors such as (television, friend, music etc. ) play a greater role today. Discuss + and -. v. 2
Nowadays, the overwhelming majority of people are gravitate towards to think parents are capable to affect on their kid' s mental and education behavior, but there are those who maintain another point of view, namely that other factors are. The goals of this essay is to outline arguments. In conclusion, I will give my own opinion about this issue. It is clear that children look similar with their parents. Moreover, kids gave exactly the same behavior. Obviously, it is believed, a child is gaining any knowledge, when he or she is growing, like a sponge. Therefore, youngsters try to imitate parents' acts. For instance, it was reported in 2017 in The New York Times that six-tenth of teenagers who grew up not in an orphanage became an exact replica of their father or mother. Thus, parents have a huge impact on their spawns. However, many people disagree and believe that such factors as entertainment or friends are capable to play a bigger role. There is no doubt that the internet is so immensity and enormous that not only could it affect on youngsters, but also on adults and even on countries. Therefore, it is necessary for parents to know how their teenager spends time online. Another aspect to be mentioned is that a lot of adolescents spent most of the time with their friends. Unfortunately, sometimes, such friends have an awful behaviour which affects on other people. For example, scientists conducted research in the social sphere a fortnight ago and revealed that 70 per cent of youngsters who were in a " bad" company became criminals further in life. To conclude, raking everything into account, I truly believe that parents not only must serve a perfect example for their spawns, but also should know friends of the child and how teenager spends time on the internet.
Nowadays, the overwhelming majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are gravitate towards to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are capable to
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on their
Possible spelling mistake found.
kid&
#039; s mental and education behavior,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are those who maintain another point of view,
namely
that other factors are. The goals of this essay is to outline arguments.
In conclusion
, I will give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion about this issue.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that children look similar with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Moreover
, kids gave exactly the same behavior.
Obviously
, it
is believed
, a child is gaining any knowledge, when he or she is growing, like a sponge.
Therefore
, youngsters try to imitate
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039; acts.
For instance
, it
was reported
in 2017 in The New York
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
that six-tenth of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who grew up not in an orphanage became an exact replica of their father or mother.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a huge impact on their spawns.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
disagree and believe that such factors as entertainment or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are capable to play a bigger role. There is no doubt that the internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
immensity and enormous that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
could it
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on youngsters,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on adults and even on countries.
Therefore
, it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to know how their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
spends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
online. Another aspect to
be mentioned
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
adolescents spent most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Unfortunately,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
have an awful
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
which affects on other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, scientists conducted research in the social sphere a fortnight ago and revealed that 70 per cent of youngsters who were in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
bad&quot
;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
became criminals
further
in life.

To conclude
, raking everything into account, I
truly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
serve a perfect example for their spawns,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
should know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
of the child and how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
spends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the internet.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people say that family has the most powerful influence in a child's development. Other's say that other factors such as (television, friend, music etc. ) play a greater role today. Discuss + and -. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts