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There are many problems caused by mobile phones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones? v.1

There are many problems caused by mobile phones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones? v. 1
New age technology has made it convenient for people to download patented songs, and reading material for free from the World Wide Web. It is debatable as it fosters both positive as well as negative developments. The Internet contains a plethora of material. It ranges from music, books, clothes, shoes, etc. Since it is accessible to individuals from across the world, few regulations are in place. For example: On YouTube, citizens around the globe upload videos while Wikipedia has the unauthorized information uploaded for each page. Human beings love the idea of getting commodities for no charge at all. The best way to obtain easy access with no pay is reaching out to the web. For example: A new movie released in theatre will cost a few hundreds to watch, but the same can be viewed at no cost on the Internet. Every human being excessively uses, such advantage. Although artists, and writers creating the content are at a loss when free downloads are taken undue advantage of. They are not given a share of their earnings as piracy is on the rise and no one can be blamed. This particularly creates negativity about sourcing music to millions. Nevertheless, there are channels that allow us to listen to our favourite songs without tampering with legal rights for example: the music app Spotify. In conclusion, downloads of copyrighted material is positive only, if it used to give credit to the author for example: quote from a book used in research with the person being credited.
New age technology has made it convenient for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to download patented songs, and reading material for free from the World Wide Web. It is debatable as it fosters both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
developments.

The Internet contains a plethora of material. It ranges from music, books, clothes, shoes, etc. Since it is accessible to individuals from across the world, few regulations are in place. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
: On YouTube, citizens around the globe upload videos while Wikipedia has the unauthorized information uploaded for each page. Human beings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of getting commodities for no charge at all. The best way to obtain easy access with no pay is reaching out to the web. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
: A new movie released in
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
will cost a few hundreds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the same can
be viewed
at no cost on the Internet. Every human being
excessively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
, such advantage.

Although artists, and writers creating the content are at a loss when free downloads
are taken
undue advantage of. They are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a share of their earnings as piracy is on the rise and no one can
be blamed
. This
particularly
creates negativity about sourcing music to millions.
Nevertheless
, there are channels that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to listen to our
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
songs without tampering with legal rights for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
: the music app Spotify.

In conclusion
, downloads of copyrighted material is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to give credit to the author for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
: quote from a book
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in research with the person
being credited
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay There are many problems caused by mobile phones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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