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The world of work is changing rapidly, so people cannot always depend on their jobs. What are the reasons of such a phenomenon and offer some measures to solve it. Should we welcome these changes? v.2

The world of work is changing rapidly, so people cannot always depend on their jobs. What are the reasons of such a phenomenon and offer some measures to solve it. Should we welcome these changes? v. 2
The life style of people has been totally changed due to some innovative amendments in the field of technology and Job has become a grievously issue for an everyone in this modern era. Now a days, employees want to keep themselves updated with the advancements around them. According to the given statement, this essay will analyze the varied reasons and solving points in upcoming paragraphs. In this globalization era, growing number of folks are seeking for an employment and every person has need of job. Therefore, companies have an option to appoint new employees at less emoluments as well as dramatic fluctuations in the recruitment of workers become a major reason of this change in the field of jobs. Moreover, some agencies hire foreign workers from different nations due to good quality of an education because they have a particular knowledge to work in specific fields as well as they are very intellectual and fully dedicate towards their work rather than native employees. Furthermore, some innovative inventions in the technology, People have depend on electronic gadgets like; computer and internet because these gadgets reduce the presence of human and makes the work more convenient in accurate way. On the flip side, employees have strict need to pay their attention towards work because their efforts are obligatory for the ameliorate of company and the retain of their jobs and employees should be more talented in their specific field of work. Moreover, comfortable working environment as well as formidable relations between colleagues are must important to continue jobs. To conclude, according to some amendments in working conditions. Hence, jobs variations are typical in this modern era and employees should be scare
The life style of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
has been
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
innovative amendments in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of technology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
has become a
You used an adverb ('grievously') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('issue') instead of another adjective.
grievously issue
for
Possible typo. Did you mean "an" or "everyone"?
an everyone
in this modern era.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves updated with
Consider using "the surrounding advancements".
the advancements around them
. According to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement, this essay will analyze the varied reasons and solving points in upcoming paragraphs.

In this globalization era, growing number of folks are seeking for an employment and every person has need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have an option to appoint new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
at
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun emoluments is countable.
less
emoluments
as well
as dramatic fluctuations in the recruitment of workers become a major reason of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
agencies hire foreign workers from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality of an education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "particular knowledge".
a particular knowledge
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
as well
as they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
intellectual and
fully
dedicate towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
innovative inventions in the technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
Use past participle here: "depended".
depend
on electronic gadgets like; computer and internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these gadgets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the presence of human and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more convenient in accurate way.

On the flip side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
have strict need to pay their attention towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their efforts are obligatory for
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'ameliorate' is correct. If 'ameliorate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the ameliorate
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'retain' is correct. If 'retain' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the retain
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
should be more talented in their specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
, comfortable working environment
as well
as formidable relations between colleagues are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to continue jobs.

To conclude
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amendments in working conditions.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
variations are typical in this modern era and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
should be scare
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay The world of work is changing rapidly, so people cannot always depend on their jobs. What are the reasons of such a phenomenon and offer some measures to solve it. Should we welcome these changes? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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