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There are many benefits to a good education. Therefore, a university education should be offered to all students, not just students with good high school grades. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from y v.1

There are many benefits to a good education. Therefore, a university education should be offered to all students, not just students with good high school grades. 1
It is logical that admission to universities remains open to all, than just restricting it to pupils with remarkable high school marks, in order to gain the numerous advantages of a standard learning. However, academic performance is a measure of the ability that prospective learners necessarily need to possess for meeting the demands and rigour of higher education. Further, it is a mere waste of time, energy and money if students without aptitude try to stretch for what is obviously out of reach, rather than going for a career oriented study elsewhere. Therefore, I strongly believe that excellent grades are a benchmark for securing a seat at a university. Firstly, if students are not able to prove their merit at pre-university level, it is unlikely they can withstand the pressures and expectations of a university course. The complexity of education increases manifold at universities as compared to that at high schools. Therefore, it would be unreasonable to expect a student who is weak, for instance, in science and mathematics to scale heights with an engineering program of study. Such pursuits are bound to bring extraordinary defeats, and had better be refrained from. Secondly, there are several career oriented training programs which can lead to a decent earning, without having to go through the depth of study as exposed to at universities. This is a promising venue to invest in for high school pass outs with low grades. Instead of wasting resources at a university, they can march forward proudly with the necessary skills acquired at a technical institute and seek good jobs. Except for rare cases where students may lose marks due to acute illnesses while being largely capable of a university study, it is highly practical that those with poor marks do not get into a university program. To conclude, in my opinion, good grades alone shall stand students in good stead to obtain education at a university, as that is certainly a yard stick of their innate capacity to bear the intensity of studies there. There are other options available that are good enough for those with lower marks, and therefore they can reap benefits from them.
It is logical that admission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
remains open to all,
Did you mean "then"?
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
restricting it to pupils with remarkable high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marks
, in order to gain the numerous advantages of a standard learning.
However
, academic performance is a measure of the ability that prospective learners
necessarily
need to possess for meeting the demands and
Possible spelling mistake. 'rigour' is British English.
rigour
of higher education.
Further
, it is a mere waste of time, energy and money if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
without aptitude try to stretch for what is
obviously
out of reach,
rather
than going for a career oriented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
elsewhere.
Therefore
, I
strongly
believe that excellent grades are a benchmark for securing a seat at a university.

Firstly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not able to prove their merit at
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-university
level, it is unlikely they can withstand the pressures and expectations of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
course. The complexity of education increases manifold at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
as compared to that at high schools.
Therefore
, it would be unreasonable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who is weak,
for instance
, in science and mathematics to scale heights with an engineering program of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. Such pursuits
are bound
to bring extraordinary defeats, and had better
be refrained
from.

Secondly
, there are several career oriented training programs which can lead to a decent earning, without having to go through the depth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
as exposed to at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. This is a promising venue to invest in for high school pass outs with low grades.
Instead
of wasting resources at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, they can march forward
proudly
with the necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
acquired at a technical institute and seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
jobs.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Except for
rare cases where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may lose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marks
due to acute illnesses while being
largely
capable of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, it is
highly
practical that those with poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marks
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
program.

To conclude
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
grades alone shall stand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
stead to obtain education at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, as
that is
certainly
a yard stick of their innate capacity to bear the intensity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
there. There are other options available that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for those with lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marks
, and
therefore
they can reap benefits from them.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay There are many benefits to a good education. Therefore, a university education should be offered to all students, not just students with good high school grades. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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