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In some countries, people who commit less serious crimes are made to undertake community service* instead of a prison sentence. Some people believe that all people who have committed a crime should be sent to prison. Do you agree or disagree? *compulsory wo v.4

In some countries, people who commit less serious crimes are made to undertake community service* instead of a prison sentence. Some people believe that all people who have committed a crime should be sent to prison. *compulsory wo v. 4
I largely disagree with what some members of society consider as proper imprisoning anyone who engages in any form of criminal activity. It would be more appropriate to contain the punishment for lower degree mischieves by subjecting the guilty to social service. Firstly, penalty should be commensurate with the extent of harm done, in order to have a lasting positive rehabilitation. Neither an excess nor a deficit doze of enforced distress can evoke the desired result of refraining from similar activities in future. For example, if an impoverished man who succumbs to stealing is sent to jail, it may aggravate incidences of thefts involving him- as he would have found the prison a much guaranteed source of regular food. On the other hand, if he were to be asked to do voluntary service with similar supply of meals, he might even have found a means of earning his bread with physical work. Thus, sentences should be prescribed by carefully judging the need. Secondly, outrageous criminals behind the bars can disrupt the already delicate integrity of amateur miscreants. This can have lasting consequences on the balance of law and order in the community, as the networking opportunities in the prison house can produce dormant anti social elements. For instance, modus operandi sharing can go viral within the four walls, only to send out more sophisticated outlaws. Therefore, it is extremely important to save the innocent defaulters from the hands of novice barbarians swarming the prison walls. In conclusion, though only an adept walk through of free service as a form of rebuking may solicit reformation, it cannot be done away with to make way for cell life irrespective of the kind of misdeed.
I
largely
disagree with what
some
members of society consider as proper imprisoning anyone who engages in any form of criminal activity. It would be more appropriate to contain the punishment for lower degree
mischieves
by subjecting the guilty to social service.

Firstly
, penalty should be commensurate with the extent of harm done, in order to have a lasting
positive
rehabilitation. Neither an excess nor a deficit doze of enforced distress can evoke the desired result of refraining from similar activities
in future
.
For example
, if an impoverished
man
who succumbs to stealing is
sent
to jail, it may aggravate incidences of thefts involving him- as he would have found the prison a much guaranteed source of regular food.
On the other hand
, if he were to
be asked
to do voluntary service with similar supply of meals, he might even have found a means of earning his bread with physical work.
Thus
, sentences should
be prescribed
by
carefully
judging the need.

Secondly
, outrageous criminals behind the bars can disrupt the already delicate integrity of amateur miscreants. This can have lasting consequences on the balance of law and order in the community, as the networking opportunities in the prison
house
can produce dormant
anti social
elements.
For instance
, modus operandi sharing can go viral within the four walls,
only
to
send
out more sophisticated outlaws.
Therefore
, it is
extremely
important
to save the innocent defaulters from the hands of novice barbarians swarming the prison walls.

In conclusion
, though
only
an adept walk through of free service as a form of rebuking may solicit reformation, it cannot
be done
away with to
make
way for cell life irrespective of the kind of misdeed.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, people who commit less serious crimes are made to undertake community service* instead of a prison sentence. Some people believe that all people who have committed a crime should be sent to prison. *compulsory wo v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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