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There are many advertisements directed at children. Parent argue that children misled, while advertisers consider advertising a source of useful information. What is your opinion? v.4

There are many advertisements directed at children. Parent argue that children misled, while advertisers consider advertising a source of useful information. What is your opinion? v. 4
In contemporary society, there is growing consensus that the impacts of advertising on children have become an area of focus in these years tremendously. People are divide into alternative options whether the advertisements will make the children' s unjustified desires to buy something unnecessary or it is a source of useful information for viewers. To the best my knowledge, is undisputed. Initially, it is essential to recognize that advertising is giving products an exaggerated account. To be more specific, advertisers use some tactics which tend to stress those attributes of a product that are likely to be valued by young consumers, while playing down others. A good case in this point is that the information and ingredients of products will be appeared in small print and children cannot attract or read them clearly. In other words, the main strategy of advertised products are what their peers want and will choose. Contrarily, children who are more concerned with label and branded products than adult, for simple reason that they are much less price sensitive, leading to they seldom take into consideration the function and practical values of those products. On the flip side, it is equally pivotal to acknowledge that some advertisements are non-commercial and provide information on such issues as anti-smoking, anti-drug and healthy eating practice. As a result of participating that the negative impacts of advertising should be noted that as children grow up. In addition, the advertisements should be concerned about the content of advertises as it can influence to the children' s personalities. Beyond and doubt, it is obvious that by enhancing the image of advertised products, making exaggerated claims on products and services and portraying a fantastic way of life, advertising is liable for children' s impulsive purchase. As the result, the advertisements that are marketed to children should be restricted.
In contemporary society, there is growing consensus that the impacts of advertising on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have become an area of
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "focus".
focus in
these years
tremendously
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are divide into alternative options whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s unjustified desires to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something unnecessary or it is a source of useful information for viewers. To the best my knowledge,
is undisputed
.

Initially
, it is essential to recognize that advertising is giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
an exaggerated account. To be more specific, advertisers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tactics which tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
those attributes of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that are likely to
be valued
by young consumers, while playing down others. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
case in this point is that the information and ingredients of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
will
be appeared
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
print and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot attract or read them
clearly
.
In other words
, the main strategy of advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are what their peers want and will choose.
Contrarily
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are more concerned with label and branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
than adult, for simple reason that they are much less price sensitive, leading to they seldom take into consideration the function and practical values of those products.

On the flip side, it is
equally
pivotal to acknowledge that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are non-commercial and provide information on such issues as anti-smoking, anti-drug and healthy eating practice.
As a result
of participating that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of advertising should
be noted
that as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
should
be concerned
about the content of advertises as it can influence to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s personalities.

Beyond and doubt, it is obvious that by enhancing the image of advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, making exaggerated claims on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services and portraying a fantastic way of life, advertising is liable for
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s impulsive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
. As the result, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that
are marketed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be restricted
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay There are many advertisements directed at children. Parent argue that children misled, while advertisers consider advertising a source of useful information. What is your opinion? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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