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The younger generation is mainly responsible for the latest technological developments. How far do you agree? v.1

The younger generation is mainly responsible for the latest technological developments. How far do you agree? v. 1
Fitness and traditions are equally needed in the community to have a healthy and rich cultured environment. Games and public activities in the society should be offered by the organizations. In my opinion, I completely agree that industries should support the local community by providing platforms for sports and social activities. A social gathering will promote the healthy culture within the society. The facilities offered by the organization can help the society to maintain their traditional values, which in return will give fame to the organization. For instance, the cultural dance and art play in the form can encourage local people to enhance their skills and brush up their talent. Furthermore, it will maintain the culture between the generations and allow the current generation to pass on the legacy. Sports activity is quite useful for everyone. Providing such facilities will boost the healthy environment within society and motivates the people. The game events in the local community can provide the opportunity to the family members of the employees to interact with other employees and their families to have a healthy conversation. Which somehow will make an employee happy and improve the work culture in the organization. In conclusion, the game events and social gathering are highly pivotal for the community. The corporation should support such events within the region of a workplace to maintain the healthy work environment, which will benefit the organization in terms of popularity and quality work from the employees. Hence, such amenities should be manufactured by the organization in the name of community services.
Fitness and traditions are
equally
needed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and rich cultured environment. Games and public activities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
should
be offered
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that industries should support the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
by providing platforms for sports and social activities.

A social gathering will promote the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
culture within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The facilities offered by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to maintain their traditional values, which in return will give fame to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
.
For instance
, the cultural dance and art play in the form can encourage local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to enhance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and brush up their talent.
Furthermore
, it will maintain the culture between the generations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation to pass on the legacy.

Sports activity is quite useful for everyone. Providing such facilities will boost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
environment within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and motivates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
can provide the opportunity to the family members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to interact with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and their families to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
conversation. Which somehow will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
happy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the work culture in the organization.

In conclusion
, the game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and social gathering are
highly
pivotal for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. The corporation should support such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
within the region of a workplace to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
work environment, which will benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
in terms of popularity and quality work from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
Hence
, such amenities should
be manufactured
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
in the name of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
services.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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IELTS essay The younger generation is mainly responsible for the latest technological developments. How far do you agree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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