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The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on the same jobs and the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes of this phenomenon and the ways in which people in the future can prepare for this rapid change in the workplace. v.1

The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on the same jobs and the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes of this phenomenon and the ways in which people in the future can prepare for this rapid change in the workplace. v. 1
Workplaces around the world are radically changing, and this has meant that employees these days cannot anymore rely on the same occupations and employment conditions for the rest of their lives. This tendency can be attributed to a number of factors, but there are measures individuals can take to cope with these challenges. Technology is the main driving force behind this trend. The pace of technological advancement nowadays is so drastic that companies need to frequently upskill their staff to keep pace with today's most recent innovations. This results in a more skilled workforce, which comes at the price of greater employee turnover as the demands of the workers increase with the new skills that they acquire. In addition, the rise of globalization can be partly blamed for this phenomenon. As businesses expand their global presence, employees are forced to adapt to the changes in the way their companies operate. This ultimately leads to them constantly adjusting to the rapidly evolving employment conditions in their workplaces or else facing unemployment in the process of transition. Nevertheless, there are ways to prepare people in the future for these new developments. Apart from building the portfolio of their employees, those who run companies should also help their workers to stay valuable and motivated. This may be done by increasing their compensation in accordance to their skills, deploying them to new roles, recognizing their initiative and creativity, and fostering a work environment that celebrates and rewards hard work and loyalty. Meanwhile, workers also need to be more open to changes. They should be more flexible and adaptable, accepting modifications in responsibilities and working conditions as they come and adopting a culture of lifelong learning. Through these, they can arm themselves with the competencies to succeed in any field. In summary, workplaces have transformed in many ways because of several reasons. However, there are steps that can be taken to ensure that both businesses and their employees are not left behind.
Workplaces around the world are
radically
changing, and this has meant that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
these days cannot
Make sure that 'anymore' is used as an adverb, not as an adjective. Did you mean "any more"?
anymore
rely on the same occupations and employment conditions for the rest of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This tendency can
be attributed
to a number of factors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are measures individuals can take to cope with these challenges.

Technology is the main driving force behind this trend. The pace of technological advancement nowadays is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
drastic that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
need to
frequently
upskill their staff to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's most recent innovations. This results in a more skilled workforce, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
at the price of greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
turnover as the demands of the workers increase with the new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that they acquire.
In addition
, the rise of globalization can be partly blamed for this phenomenon. As businesses expand their global presence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are forced
to adapt to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the way their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
operate. This
ultimately
leads to them
constantly
adjusting to the
rapidly
evolving employment conditions in their workplaces or else facing unemployment in the process of transition.

Nevertheless
, there are ways to prepare
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the future for these new developments. Apart from building the portfolio of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, those who run
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their workers to stay valuable and motivated. This may
be done
by increasing their compensation in accordance to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, deploying them to new roles, recognizing their initiative and creativity, and fostering a work environment that celebrates and rewards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and loyalty. Meanwhile, workers
also
need to be more open to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. They should be more flexible and adaptable, accepting modifications in responsibilities and working conditions as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and adopting a culture of lifelong learning. Through these, they can arm themselves with the competencies to succeed in any field.

In summary, workplaces have transformed in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several reasons.
However
, there are steps that can
be taken
to ensure that both businesses and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on the same jobs and the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes of this phenomenon and the ways in which people in the future can prepare for this rapid change in the workplace. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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