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The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for the poor in undeveloped countries but also for industrialised and developing nations. v.8

The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for the poor in undeveloped countries but also for industrialised and developing nations. v. 8
The world population is increasing day by day. Every country wants to have a resounding number of population. However, this type of arranged enhancement can damage the government because the existence of more people means the coexistence of more demanding and complex issues. This problem concerns all the undeveloped and developed countries across the world. In undeveloped countries, the situation is worse. Because in addition to overcrowding the financial budget is not sufficient to aid people and at the same time food, healthcare, education, sanitation and other shortages are incredibly widespread. In these countries, the poor underlie the society therefore the community cannot help itself. The condition in industrialised and developing countries does not differ in great amounts. The financial aids of the governments cannot afford society's significant part. And also in developed countries, the rich, unfortunately, are not always generous enough. Consequently, the government cannot manage to provide famine relief and accommodations for all the people who are in need of it. In this case, overpopulation causes the economics of the country to depression. And that is a thing which no countries want it. The unemployment is in its highest rate and the economic inflation made the lifestyle harder even in developed countries and overpopulation is one of the main reasons for that. Because of that, some overpopulated countries such as China and India realise some prevention policies. The government constraints having children more than an estimated number. By this way, the government can impose some punishments for not crossing the limit of having children and can control the increasing of the population. The regulation of increasing of the population can be a solution to the overpopulation issue.
The world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is increasing day by day. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
wants to have a resounding number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
.
However
, this type of arranged enhancement can damage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the existence of more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
means the coexistence of more demanding and complex issues.

This problem concerns all the undeveloped and developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
across the world. In undeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the situation is worse.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in addition
to overcrowding the financial budget is not sufficient to aid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and at the same time food, healthcare, education, sanitation and other shortages are
incredibly
widespread. In these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the poor underlie the society
therefore
the community cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
itself.

The condition in
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialised' is British English.
industrialised
and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
does not differ in great amounts. The financial aids of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
cannot afford society's significant part. And
also
in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the rich, unfortunately, are not always generous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
cannot manage to provide famine relief and accommodations for all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are in need of it.
In this case
, overpopulation causes the economics of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to depression. And
that is
a thing which no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
want it. The unemployment is in its highest rate and the economic inflation made the lifestyle harder even in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and overpopulation is one of the main reasons for that.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
overpopulated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as China and India
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prevention policies. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
constraints having children more than an estimated number. By this way, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can impose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
punishments for not crossing the limit of having children and can control the increasing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. The regulation of increasing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
can be a solution to the overpopulation issue.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for the poor in undeveloped countries but also for industrialised and developing nations. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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