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The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for the poor in undeveloped countries but also for industrialised and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggest at least one possible solution. v.3

The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for the poor in undeveloped countries but also for industrialised and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggest at least one possible solution. v. 3
The modern world has experienced a dramatic growth in population, In many countries the number of people have been doubled during the past century. With this abnormal change of the population there are many problems related to food, water and housing resources. Moreover, in many developing countries the change is causing frequent traffic problems and overcrowding of public areas. Firstly, Overpopulation leads to shortage of daily necessary goods like food items. What I mean by this is that the amount of food produced in developing countries is very limited as most of the people are employed in industry related jobs. For Example, UAE is mostly dependent on other countries like India for food as most of its economy is based on oil, hence a population growth resulting in food shortages. Furthermore, water is the primary problem in all the nations, due to decrease in rainfall and an increase in the household utilization, many countries have already tasted the side effects. The solution is for the government to utilize people effectively in both agriculture and industries, they must invest money in constructing new dams for proper flow of water. Additionally, they should run campaigns showing the side effects of overpopulation. Another important cause of overpopulation is no education, In many underdeveloped nations the literacy rate is very low. Many people are unaware of the problems caused by more people like health issues. For instance, many people living in close proximity can lead to oxygen shortage which may result in the easy spread of diseases, In many African countries due to close living, many disease outbreaks are already evident. Governments should encourage policies like china's one or none and should find new ways to educate people by increasing schools in rural area. Finally, congestion issues are more common due to over population, In city states like Hong Kong due high density, people live very close to each other leading to traffic and health issues. People and the government should think of relocation ideas like developing suburbs far from existing cities and should encourage people to move. To sum up, overpopulation has already caused many harmful problems like deforestation and excessive utilization of land, causing both food and shelter problems for animals. Everyone should think of the problems and should act instantly. In my opinion, both the governments and people should collectively think of solutions for this problem.
The modern world has experienced a dramatic growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been doubled
during the past century. With this abnormal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, water and housing resources.
Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is causing frequent traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and overcrowding of public areas.

Firstly
, Overpopulation leads to shortage of daily necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items. What I mean by this is that the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
produced in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited as most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are employed
in industry related jobs.
For Example
, UAE is
mostly
dependent on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like India for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as most of its economy
is based
on oil,
hence
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth resulting in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
shortages.
Furthermore
, water is the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in all the nations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to decrease in rainfall and an increase in the household utilization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have already tasted the side effects. The solution is for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to utilize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
effectively
in both agriculture and industries, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
invest money in constructing new dams for proper flow of water.
Additionally
, they should run campaigns showing the side effects of overpopulation.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
cause of overpopulation is no education, In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
underdeveloped nations the literacy rate is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unaware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
caused by more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like health issues.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
Consider using "proximity".
close proximity
can lead to oxygen shortage which may result in the easy spread of diseases, In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to close living,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disease outbreaks are already evident.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should encourage policies like china's one or none and should find new ways to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by increasing schools in rural area.
Finally
, congestion issues are more common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, In city states like Hong Kong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
high density,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
close to each other leading to traffic and health issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of relocation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
like developing suburbs far from existing cities and should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
.

To sum up, overpopulation has already caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like deforestation and excessive utilization of land, causing both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and shelter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for animals. Everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and should act
instantly
. In my opinion, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
collectively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of solutions for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for the poor in undeveloped countries but also for industrialised and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggest at least one possible solution. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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