Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for the poor in undeveloped countries but also for industrialised and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggest at least one possible solution. v.4

The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for the poor in undeveloped countries but also for industrialised and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggest at least one possible solution. v. 4
Ever since the 1950's, the world has seen a significant population surge, and it is not looking to slow down any time soon, in the foreseeable future. As it rises, it brings many challenges, as such, same resources have to be shared between a lot more people, which otherwise would serve a few. This, not only impacts, disadvantaged nations, but also affects the ones' with better resources. In this essay, I shall point out a few effects of the given situation and would recommend a few solutions with examples as required. There are many downturns with overpopulation, to begin with, it puts an immense pressure on available resources. As such, essentials such as water and food may not be sufficient for everyone. Moreover, the land available to produce required food would be under over utilisation, and perhaps, would lead to exploitation. Besides, edible supplies, the land required to house people and provide safe shelter, would get complicated and challenging. Additionally, in conjunction with all aforementioned, providing proper health care would be extremely difficult. Currently, in the Phillipines, for example, on average, five in seven ware born with some sort of disorder and the situation is only getting worse. Moving further, another important cause of overpopulation is no education. In many underdeveloped nations the literacy rate is very low. They are unaware of the problems caused by more people like health issues. For instance, many people living in close proximity can lead to oxygen shortage which may result in the easy spread of diseases, In many African countries due to close living, many disease outbreaks are already evident. Governments should encourage policies like china's one or none and should find new ways to educate people by increasing schools in rural areas. In conclusion, while there are many issues as a result of overpopulation, as explained above, in most instances, an outcome can be obtained favouring the masses. As such, I would recommend, the world to be border less and allow people to move freely between countries and bring fruitful outcomes for the greater good.
Ever since the
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1950s".
1950's
, the world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a significant population surge, and it is not looking to slow down any time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
, in the foreseeable future. As it rises, it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges, as such, same resources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be shared
between a lot more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which
otherwise
would serve a few. This, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
impacts, disadvantaged nations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
affects the ones' with better resources. In this essay, I shall point out a few effects of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
situation and would recommend a few solutions with examples as required.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
downturns with overpopulation, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it puts an immense pressure on available resources. As such, essentials such as water and food may not be sufficient for everyone.
Moreover
, the land available to produce required food would be under over
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
, and perhaps, would lead to exploitation.
Besides
, edible supplies, the land required to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and provide safe shelter, would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
complicated and challenging.
Additionally
, in conjunction with all aforementioned, providing proper health care would be
extremely
difficult.
Currently
, in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phillipines
,
for example
, on average, five in seven ware born with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of disorder and the situation is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
getting worse.

Moving
further
, another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
cause of overpopulation is no education. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
underdeveloped nations the literacy rate is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low. They are unaware of the problems caused by more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like health issues.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
Consider using "proximity".
close proximity
can lead to oxygen shortage which may result in the easy spread of diseases, In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
African countries due to close living,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disease outbreaks are already evident.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should encourage policies like china's one or none and should find new ways to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by increasing schools in rural areas.

In conclusion
, while there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues
as a result
of overpopulation, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
above, in most instances, an outcome can
be obtained
Possible spelling mistake. 'favouring' is British English.
favouring
the masses. As such, I would recommend, the world to be border less and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
freely
between countries and bring fruitful outcomes for the greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for the poor in undeveloped countries but also for industrialised and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggest at least one possible solution. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts