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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v.29

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 29
It has become a debatable topic about the exploitation of animals by mankind. Some people believed that animals should not be exploited and should be treated fairly by human beings. In contrast, others think animals should be utilised to assist humans in various kinds of ways, such as the source of food or for medical testing. The following essay will discuss both views in details, but in my opinion, I believe that animals can be used as the source of food or to assist human beings in the proportionate way and human should treat them properly. On the one hand, a group of people believe that mankind does not have the rights to exploit animals, as they are also living creatures. It is true that animals live by following their instinct, but they have the same feeling as human beings, therefore it would not be fair for mankind to exploit them. In several cases, it has been reported that some of the cows had cried before they were slaughtered in the slaughterhouse, which means that they also had the same feeling as human beings. In another reported cases, some of the animals was treated poorly by their masters, though they had been exploited heavily and made them sick or injured. On the other hand, it is undeniable that mankind needs the assistant of animals in various kinds of ways. Firstly, some animals are needed by humans to assist them in producing and providing foods. In many countries, cows, buffalos or horses are used by farmers to cultivate their farming areas, and some dairy farms animals such as chicken and sheep are slaughtered for their meats. Without the existence of these animals, there would be a humanity issue about the lack of food supplies and starvation for mankind. Secondly, some animals are used in certain scientific experiments or medical testing for the sake of humanity. Several new drugs are being tested in some mice or monkeys before they are being tested on human beings. Although it might seem as an inhuman act, but these experiments have saved thousands of human lives. In conclusion, people have different opinions about the exploitation of animals. Some people agree with the statement but others disagree with it. In my opinion, I think the employment or the usage of animals to help human beings is not a problem, as long as we exploit them in a proportionate way. For example, as many farmers use dogs as their assistant in their field and the dogs should be treated and fed properly.
It has become a debatable topic about the exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mankind
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not
be exploited
and should
be treated
fairly
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
In contrast
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
to assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in various kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
, such as the source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or for medical testing. The following essay will discuss both views in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as the source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or to assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings in the proportionate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
should treat them
properly
.

On the one hand, a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mankind
does not have the rights to exploit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, as they are
also
living creatures. It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
by following their instinct,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have the same feeling as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings,
therefore
it would not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mankind
to exploit them. In several cases, it has
been reported
that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
cows had cried
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
were slaughtered
in the slaughterhouse, which means that they
also
had the same feeling as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings. In another reported cases,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
was treated
poorly
by their masters, though they had
been exploited
heavily
and made them sick or injured.

On the other hand
, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mankind
needs the assistant of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in various kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are needed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to assist them in producing and providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, cows,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "buffalo", the plural form of the noun 'buffalo'?
buffalos
or horses are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by farmers to cultivate their farming areas, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dairy farms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
such as chicken and sheep
are slaughtered
for their meats. Without the existence of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, there would be a humanity issue about the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
supplies and starvation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mankind
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in certain scientific experiments or medical testing for the sake of humanity. Several new drugs are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mice or monkeys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings. Although it might seem as an inhuman act,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these experiments have saved thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about the exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others disagree with it. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the employment or the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings is not a problem, as long as we exploit them in a proportionate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
.
For example
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
farmers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
dogs as their assistant in their field and the dogs should
be treated
and fed
properly
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 29

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
424 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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