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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v.32

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 32
Since prehistoric era, animals have been widely used by humans and in different ways to fulfil several needs. They have provided main sources of food, clothes, transportation and other tools largely used for the well-being of humankind. Yet in the modern world, animals still offer an efficient and indispensable mean for scientists to develop killing edge vaccinations. Whether to ban the exploitation of animals in general or to continue profiting from them for the betterment of people's lives still a matter of dispute. I personally believe that animals' use in our lives should be strictly controlled. In favour of securing the same rights as humans, some claim that animals should be treated in a moral and ethical way. They consequently require to stop slaughtering sheep and cows, for instance, simply to provision eatable meat. They additionally argue that though animals are driven by instinct rather by brain like humans, they still are living creatures and should enjoy their lives in peace. On the other side, supporters of exploiting animals for the good of mankind evaluate their use in our lives as essential in different aspects. Firstly it is suspicious that humans may survive by merely rely on vegetable sources of food even though this is not impossible. Secondly, it would be quite impossible to keep the pace of development in medicine, especially to counter epidemic diseases, if we restrain the scientists from experiencing on animals. However, testing each and every new drug on humans is unethical and inhuman. To conclude, despite the unstoppable voices against the exploitation of animals, in general, it would not be easy for humans to evolve without utilising animals, however, humans should control this utilisation and regulate it firmly. Miss using animals like in circuses, zoos or illegal competitions should be completely prohibited since those activities are solely aiming fun and mere financial benefits and disregarding animals' suffering.
Since prehistoric era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have been
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to fulfil several needs. They have provided main sources of food, clothes, transportation and other tools
largely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the well-being of humankind.
Yet
in the modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
still
offer an efficient and indispensable mean for scientists to develop killing edge vaccinations. Whether to ban the exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in general
or to continue profiting from them for the betterment of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
still
a matter of dispute. I
personally
believe that animals'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
should be
strictly
controlled.

In
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of securing the same rights as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be treated
in a moral and ethical way. They
consequently
require to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
slaughtering sheep and cows,
for instance
,
simply
to provision eatable meat. They
additionally
argue that though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are driven
by instinct
rather
by brain like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, they
still
are living creatures and should enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in peace.

On the other side, supporters of exploiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
of mankind evaluate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
as essential in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects.
Firstly
it is suspicious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
may survive by
merely
rely on vegetable sources of food
even though
this is not impossible.

Secondly
, it would be quite impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the pace of development in medicine,
especially
to counter epidemic diseases, if we restrain the scientists from experiencing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
However
, testing each and every new drug on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
is unethical and inhuman.

To conclude
, despite the unstoppable voices against the exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
in general
, it would not be easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to evolve without
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
should control this
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
and regulate it
firmly
. Miss using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like in circuses, zoos or illegal competitions should be completely prohibited since those activities are
solely
aiming fun and mere financial benefits and disregarding animals' suffering.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 32

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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