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The women express her opinion about the proposal describe in the letter. Briefly summarize the proposal then state her opinion about proposal and explain the reasons she gives to holding that opinion v.1

The women express her opinion about the proposal describe in the letter. Briefly summarize the proposal then state her opinion about proposal and explain the reasons she gives to holding that opinion v. 1
It is sometimes argued that we should place more emphasis on teaching local literature than foreign one. While it seems beneficial to teach local literature, I would argue that children should also be taught about the literature of other nations. To begin with, I agree that children could benefit from being taught about literature of their home country. By learning local literature, young students can better understand and appreciate the history of where they were born. For example, since all the poems about the wars in [your country] are taught to the students, most of them are aware of how bloody the wars were and how important it is to stop the history from repeating itself. Without local literature, I believe that few students would be interested in studying history. However, it seems to me that young students should also teach about foreign works of literature. The first reason is that the literature of their home country may be too boring, which makes learning extremely frustrating. For instance, students have to memorize many poems that are hardly relevant to their lives, and therefore most of them are reluctant to study this subject. Since foreign literature gives them a totally new learning experience, it could provide them with a motivation to study the subject. Additionally, the literature of other countries exposes students to a variety of different cultures, so studying it helps broaden their knowledge about other parts of the world. In conclusion, while I accept that students can benefit from learning local literature, I believe that foreign works should also be an important part of the curriculum.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that we should place more emphasis on teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
one. While it seems beneficial to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
, I would argue that children should
also
be taught
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
of other nations.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that children could benefit from
being taught
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
of their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can better understand and appreciate the history of where they
were born
.
For example
, since all the poems about the wars in [your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country]
are taught
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, most of them are aware of how bloody the wars were and how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
it is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the history from repeating itself. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
, I believe that few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would
be interested
in studying history.

However
, it seems to me that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
also
teach about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
. The
first
reason is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
of their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
may be too boring, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
extremely
frustrating.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
memorize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poems that are hardly relevant to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and
therefore
most of them are reluctant to study this subject. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
gives them a
totally
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
experience, it could provide them with a motivation to study the subject.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
exposes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
studying it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
broaden their knowledge about other parts of the world.

In conclusion
, while I accept that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can benefit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
works should
also
be an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the curriculum.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay The women express her opinion about the proposal describe in the letter. Briefly summarize the proposal then state her opinion about proposal and explain the reasons she gives to holding that opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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