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Briefly summarize the problem the speaker are discussing. Then state which of the two solution from the the conversation you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation v.2

Briefly summarize the problem the speaker are discussing. Then state which of the two solution from the the conversation you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation v. 2
Today's world is reeling under the damaging effects of lynching. The grim truth is homicide has no borders and limits. Unfortunately, the solution to it is not actually simple and therefore, this issue has to be dealt on a war footing. Although, there are certain beliefs which support the remark that says "terrorism is the solution to terrorism". I intend to discuss my views in this essay. First of all, it is true that there is no negotiation with the terrorists. What can we offer to them and what would they accept? Some terror groups, for example, want to see a world that is nothing like the one we know. Apparently, many of these " brains" behind the most dangerous extremist groups want just their own utopian world governed by their utopian laws. In addition, some people, however, do not like the idea of " fighting" because according to them, killing more people is not a solution to any type of worldly issue, but the question is, if someone is confronted with an irrational enemy who sees no sense or knows not what their aim really is, other than blowing up people, what can anyone do but fight and defend? Also, I do not think so there are any measures or policies defined in any provincial's constituent which describes the replacement for homicide. In spite of this, there are some things that can be done to limit the spread of extremist violence and divert by support. For instance, by keep checking on refuge clerics who enter the homey after being persecuted by undemocratic countries as they are the most dangerous one. Apart from this, history is testimony of mistakes made by some developed countries when they gave away financial help to countries like Pakistan and there happens some destructive occurs after using that money. Hence, this aid should always be monitored by the donor bucolic, in what aspects it is going to get used for and the recipient countries should be made accountable as well, as to how they have spent this money? Overall, when a problem is this big, the main thing is to just start somewhere. Such a massive issue is not going to get solved with a piece of legislation. It is going to be a constant process over years, probably even decades. Legislators must work bit by bit, to secure the defensive measures of their nations. Stricter screening of people should be required and every agrarian should keep an eye out for undesirable radicals who mean no good.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's world is reeling under the damaging effects of lynching. The grim truth is homicide has no borders and limits. Unfortunately, the solution to it is not actually simple and
therefore
, this issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be dealt
on a war footing.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, there are certain beliefs which support the remark that says
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
terrorism is the solution to terrorism
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. I intend to discuss my views in this essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is true that there is no negotiation with the terrorists. What can we offer to them and what would they accept?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
terror groups,
for example
, want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a world
that is
nothing like the one we know.
Apparently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
brains
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
behind the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
extremist groups want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
utopian world governed by their utopian laws.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
, do not like the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
fighting
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
according to them, killing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
not a solution to any type of worldly issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the question is, if someone
is confronted
with an irrational enemy who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
no sense or knows not what their aim
really
is, other than blowing up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, what can anyone do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fight and defend?

Also
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there are any measures or policies defined in any provincial's constituent which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the replacement for homicide.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things that can
be done
to limit the spread of extremist violence and divert by support.
For instance
, by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
checking on refuge clerics who enter the homey after
being persecuted
by undemocratic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as they are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
one. Apart from this, history is testimony of mistakes made by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
when they gave away financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Pakistan and there happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
destructive occurs after using that money.
Hence
, this aid should always
be monitored
by the donor bucolic, in what aspects it is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for and the recipient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
be made
accountable
as well
, as to how they have spent this money?

Overall
, when a problem is this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
, the main thing is to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
somewhere. Such a massive issue is not going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
solved with a piece of legislation. It is going to be a constant process over years,
probably
even decades. Legislators
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
work bit by bit, to secure the defensive measures of their nations. Stricter screening of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be required
and every agrarian should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye out for undesirable radicals who mean no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Briefly summarize the problem the speaker are discussing. Then state which of the two solution from the the conversation you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
422 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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