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The woman supports the proposal described in the article Explain why she thinks it will achieve the university s goals v.1

The woman supports the proposal described in the article Explain why she thinks it will achieve the university s goals v. 1
Many jobs today and in the past have required their employees to wear uniforms. This is especially true for jobs that must be recognisable and its greatest drawback relates to resentment. The jobs that most require uniforms all relate to positions of authority. It is important for the public and other employees to be able to recognise these figures. The original example of this is soldiers who must be recognisable to their own people and each other in order to fight an enemy effectively. Today this same principle applies to authorities ranging from the police to fire fighters. There are also more civilian occupations where authority is self-evidently important such as for doctors, judges, and chefs. Even simple jobs such as working in a fast food restaurant or supermarket require uniforms in order to make it easier for customers to identify them. The disadvantage to wearing a uniform at work is the effect on morale. In some instances, uniforms can be inspiring if the employee is personally invested in the service or product the company provides. For the majority of employees, however, uniforms repress individuality and comodify. In the same way that cans of soup are wrapped in a label, an employee may come to feel like a company product. The jobs most susceptible to this will not be high-ranking ones such as a doctor, where the uniform instills pride, but lower order work such as a factory worker, cashier, or cleaner. Uniforms will likely only add to pre-existing resentment of their position in life. In conclusion, uniforms are necessary for operations but can hurt mental health in certain occupations. There is little that can be done to address the necessity of uniforms but their effects can be mitigated with compassionate company policies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and in the past have required their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
. This is
especially
true for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognisable' is British English.
recognisable
and its greatest drawback relates to resentment.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that most require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
all relate to positions of authority. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the public and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to be able to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
these figures. The original example of this is soldiers who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognisable' is British English.
recognisable
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and each other in order to fight an enemy
effectively
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
this same principle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
authorities ranging from the police to fire fighters. There are
also
more civilian occupations where authority is self-
evidently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
such as for doctors, judges, and chefs. Even simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
such as working in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food restaurant or supermarket require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier for customers to identify them.

The disadvantage to wearing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
at work is the effect on morale. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
instances,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
can be inspiring if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is
personally
invested in the service or product the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
provides. For the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
repress individuality and
Possible spelling mistake found.
comodify
.
In the same way
that cans of soup
are wrapped
in a label, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to feel like a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
product. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
most susceptible to this will not be high-ranking ones such as a doctor, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
instills pride,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lower order work such as a factory worker, cashier, or cleaner.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Uniforms
will likely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to pre-existing resentment of their position in life.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
are necessary for operations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can hurt mental health in certain occupations. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
that can
be done
to address the necessity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their effects can
be mitigated
with compassionate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
policies.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay The woman supports the proposal described in the article Explain why she thinks it will achieve the university s goals v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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