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If you want to learn how to play music, whom do you want to learn form: tutor, friend, or internet? use specific examples and details to support your answer. v.1

If you want to learn how to play music, whom do you want to learn form: tutor, friend, or internet? use specific examples and details to support your answer. v. 1
Playing sports is one of the most popular activities in the world. It helps people to maintain their health as well as keep their body fit. However, it also brings some drawbacks. Now I will discuss both of these aspects. In terms of the advantages, playing sports is good for people’s health if they do it effectively. It increases their muscles and get them in shape, which makes them look good. Moreover, it can be a good hobby, especially children and young people. It makes them more active and develops some soft skills such as communication. Beside, it keeps them away from negative activities like playing computer games or using drugs. On the other hand, playing sport brings some negative impacts. Firstly, some dangerous sports such as parkour or skydiving can cause high risks of injury. It hurts their body and muscles. For example, playing football has a high risk of getting broken leg. Secondly, it also affects their mental health, especially children and young people. When they don’t win a match or score a goal while playing team sports, they may feel depressed or let other member down. Lastly, playing sports takes up a lot of time. Young people need to practice hard to achieve good results so it distracts them from studying and then they fall behind on schoolwork. In summary, playing sports has not only advantages but also disadvantages. It is a good habit for young people to follow and helps people to have a healthy body and spirit. Despite its benefits, people can be injured if they play too hard or distract from their main work. In my opinion, people should play sports reasonably and effectively.
Playing
sports
is one of the most popular activities in the world. It
helps
people
to maintain their health
as well
as
keep
their body fit.
However
, it
also
brings
some
drawbacks.
Now
I will discuss both of these aspects.

In terms of the advantages,
playing
sports
is
good
for
people’s
health if they do it
effectively
. It increases their muscles and
get
them in shape, which
makes
them look
good
.
Moreover
, it can be a
good
hobby,
especially
children and
young
people
. It
makes
them more active and develops
some
soft
skills
such as communication. Beside, it
keeps
them away from
negative
activities like
playing
computer games or using drugs.

On the other hand
,
playing
sport
brings
some
negative
impacts.
Firstly
,
some
dangerous
sports
such as parkour or skydiving can cause high
risks
of injury. It hurts their body and muscles.
For example
,
playing
football has a high
risk
of getting broken leg.
Secondly
, it
also
affects their mental health,
especially
children and
young
people
. When they don’t win a match or score a goal while
playing
team
sports
, they may feel depressed or
let
other member down.
Lastly
,
playing
sports
takes up
a lot of
time.
Young
people
need to practice
hard
to achieve
good
results
so
it distracts them from
studying and
then they fall behind on schoolwork.

In summary,
playing
sports
has not
only
advantages
but
also
disadvantages. It is a
good
habit for
young
people
to follow and
helps
people
to have a healthy body and spirit. Despite its benefits,
people
can
be injured
if they play too
hard
or distract from their main work. In my opinion,
people
should play
sports
reasonably
and
effectively
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay If you want to learn how to play music, whom do you want to learn form: tutor, friend, or internet? use specific examples and details to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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