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The woman suggestions for the man. Describe the man's problem. Then describe which suggestion would you recommend him. v.1

The woman suggestions for the man. Describe the man's problem. Then describe which suggestion would you recommend him. v. 1
As a result of the bad economy of developing nations, job contentment seems to be a luxury. In my own opinion, work well-being is key in order to reduce the rate of high labour turnover. A good reason for profession satisfaction to be considered in many underdeveloped nations is the bad shape of their economy. The level of unemployment in those nations is increasing at an alarming rate. Most available skilled jobs are for the survival of the fittest and this factor making employer to take up work without considering their fulfilment. The inflation rate of these countries is on the high side. Most workers have the obligation to take care of their family and also to survive. They will rather pick up jobs with good pay without considering good working condition, career development among others which form part of job satisfaction. For instance, a recent survey by the TUC shows that 85% of developing nations's workers are not fulfilled in their respective place of work. The above reason shows that job satisfaction is seen as a luxury in developing nations. In order to reduce the level of high labour turnover, task achievement plays an important role. This will benefit both the employee and employer of labour. The business owner will be able to retain quality and best hands, which will contribute to the short and long term goals of the organisation. This will increase the company profitability and will bring about business expansion. The employee will also be able to develop their career because they will be able to progress and focus. For example, a lot of skilled workers that are with multinational companies like IHS Tower Ltd, Total Plc etc. stay in the employment for a long period of time because those companies pay attention to staff's welfare. In conclusion, activity fulfilment is very important to any employee and employer that want to develop.
As a result
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
economy of developing nations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
contentment seems to be a luxury. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion, work well-being is key in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rate of high
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
turnover.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason for profession satisfaction to
be considered
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
underdeveloped nations is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
shape of their economy. The level of unemployment in those nations is increasing at an alarming rate. Most available skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are for the survival of the fittest and this factor making employer to take up work without considering their
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
. The inflation rate of these countries is on the high side. Most workers have the obligation to take care of their family and
also
to survive. They will
rather
pick up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
pay without considering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
working condition, career development among others which form part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction.
For instance
, a recent survey by the TUC
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 85% of developing
Did you mean "nation's" or "nations'"?
nations's
workers are not fulfilled in their respective place of work. The above reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a luxury in developing nations.

In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the level of high
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
turnover, task achievement plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role. This will benefit both the employee and employer of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
. The business owner will be able to retain quality and best hands, which will contribute to the short and long term goals of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. This will increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
profitability and will bring about business expansion. The employee will
also
be able to develop their career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will be able to progress and focus.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
skilled workers that are with multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like IHS Tower Ltd, Total
Possible spelling mistake found.
Plc
etc. stay in the employment for a long period of time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
pay attention to staff's welfare.

In conclusion
, activity
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to any employee and employer that want to develop.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The woman suggestions for the man. Describe the man's problem. Then describe which suggestion would you recommend him. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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