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Studies have suggested that nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons and what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active v.1

Studies have suggested that nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons and what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active v. 1
Few parents who are employees believe that day care centres are the best choice to let young ones be in safe hands in their absence, whilst others assume that immediate family members are better option for their child's upbringing. This essay will further discuss both the view points and support the former statement by giving reasons to support the argument. To begin with, parents keep kids at home because of trust issues. Parents at work have a tendency to worry about their child's well-being, they do not want them to undergo any unfortunate incident, for such reasons working mothers will leave children in the family nucleus ensuring the safety. But, this problem can be solved, For instance, if people can vet the Childcare centres and personally look at the environment and past success of the pre-schools, they will be relaxed with trusting factor. Moreover, child care facilities have so much to offer because staff is trained in an infant's development. Family members may look after the infants properly, but in terms of young one's development they are little laid back therefore, schools with trained faculty will provide both the services of caring and nurturing which will result in healthy and active infants. For example, statistics have proven that 60% of primary school students, who were at Daycare perform far better than those students who were left at home before they joined the school. In conclusion, though family members can be trusted with the physical safety of infants, they are not equipped with the skills to give professional supervision, therefore, it is essential that pre-schoolers should be sent to day care their full growth.
Few parents who are employees believe that day care
centres
are the best choice to
let
young ones be in safe hands in their absence, whilst others assume that immediate
family
members are better option for their child's upbringing. This essay will
further
discuss both the view points and support the former statement by giving reasons to support the argument.

To
begin
with, parents
keep
kids at home
because
of trust issues. Parents at work have a tendency to worry about their child's well-being, they do not want them to undergo any unfortunate incident, for such reasons working mothers will
leave
children in the
family
nucleus ensuring the safety.
But
, this problem can
be solved
,
For instance
, if
people
can vet the Childcare
centres
and
personally
look at the environment and past success of the
pre-schools
, they will
be relaxed
with trusting factor.

Moreover
, child care facilities have
so
much to offer
because
staff
is trained
in an infant's development.
Family
members may look after the infants
properly
,
but
in terms of young one's development they are
little
laid back
therefore
, schools with trained faculty will provide both the services of caring and nurturing which will result in healthy and active infants.
For example
, statistics have proven that 60% of primary school students, who were at Daycare perform far better than those students who were
left
at home
before
they
joined
the school.

In conclusion
, though
family
members can
be trusted
with the physical safety of infants, they are not equipped with the
skills
to give professional supervision,
therefore
, it is essential that
pre-schoolers
should be
sent
to day care their full growth.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Studies have suggested that nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons and what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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