Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Integrated quest 5: "Art project"describe the woman's problem and the two suggestions that her friend makes about how to handle it. What do you think the woman should do, and why? v.1

Integrated quest 5: "Art project"describe the woman's problem and the two suggestions that her friend makes about how to handle it. What do you think the woman should do, and why? v. 1
Some would argue that cars are the best means to commute within the city, while others say that bicycle works better. While travelling by bicycle can improve a person’s health, I believe that cars reduce the travelling time. On the one hand, travelling by bicycle can improve physical health. Bicycling is considered an aerobic exercise, if done for more than 5 minutes. By cycling to reach a destination, exercise is done without any effort. For example, according to a research published by Oxford University, men and women who went to work on bicycles were having more cardiovascular endurance than others who did not. However, I believe that people staying in the suburbs of the city cannot travel by bicycle as their commute time will increase significantly. On the other hand, the duration of commute can be reduced by travelling by car. One can start the journey at any time and reach the destination quickly. Cars have electric motors in them which increases their speed. Additionally, in some cities they have designated car lanes, which makes the commute even faster. According to a survey conducted by The Hindustan Times, it was found that workers reached the office on time when they travelled by car. I believe that car provides the benefit of saving time. In conclusion, although cycling can improve physical fitness, it does not provide the advantage of reducing the commute time. It is predicted that more people will use car to travel within the city, as it is more convenient.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are the best means to commute within the city, while others say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
works better. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a person’s health, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
time.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
physical health. Bicycling
is considered
an aerobic exercise, if done for more than 5 minutes. By cycling to reach a destination, exercise
is done
without any effort.
For example
, according to
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
published by Oxford University,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women who went to work on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
were having more cardiovascular endurance than others who did not.
However
, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
staying in the suburbs of the city cannot travel by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
as their commute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will increase
significantly
.

On the other hand
, the duration of commute can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. One can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the journey at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and reach the destination
quickly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cars
have electric motors in them which increases their speed.
Additionally
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
they have designated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
lanes, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the commute even faster. According to a survey conducted by The Hindustan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
, it
was found
that workers reached the office on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when they travelled by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
provides the benefit of saving time.

In conclusion
, although cycling can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
physical fitness, it does not provide the advantage of reducing the commute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It
is predicted
that more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
to travel within the city, as it is more convenient.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Integrated quest 5: "Art project"describe the woman's problem and the two suggestions that her friend makes about how to handle it. What do you think the woman should do, and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts