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The woman expresses her opinon about the proposal. state her opinion and express the reason she gives for holding that opinon. v.1

The woman expresses her opinon about the proposal. state her opinion and express the reason she gives for holding that opinon. v. 1
Housing is one of the basic necessity for human survival. However, there are many unfortunate lives that cannot afford it. One of the highly debatable issues today is whether the government should provide free housing. I partially agree with this viewpoint, but I also believe that it is not the only solution for several reasons outlined in my essay. On one side of the argument, it could be said that providing free housing would ensure that many people who cannot afford one will get a shelter rather than sleeping on the roads. In addition, it would ensure better standards of living and bring prosperity to the economy. A good illustration for this is the United States, wherein public authorities ensure that the citizens have a basic accommodation which enhances their living standards. Thus, it is pertinent that government takes such step for extremely poor people who needs a house. On the other hand, it is can also be argued that such free housing is not a sustainable idea as the population increases. This is true especially in the developing countries such as India and China. Moreover, the states in these economies have to also spend on other essentials such as food and education. To overcome this barrier, the government can either subsidize housing or redevelop slum areas to build more houses and make it affordable for the mass. A classic example of such an initiative is a country like Indonesia, where the country offers up to 60% home loan subsidy to the needy people, this resulted in a 40% growth in home dwellers. Having considered a range of arguments, I have come to a conclusion that free housing to extremely poor families and subsidization for the mass population of lower socioeconomic class, needs to be adopted to tackle this issue.
Housing is one of the basic necessity for human survival.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unfortunate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
that cannot afford it. One of the
highly
debatable issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is whether the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
housing. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
also
believe that it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution for several reasons outlined in my essay.

On one side of the argument, it could
be said
that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
housing would ensure that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who cannot afford one will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a shelter
rather
than sleeping on the roads.
In addition
, it would ensure better standards of living and bring prosperity to the economy. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration for this is the United States, wherein public authorities ensure that the citizens have a basic accommodation which enhances their living standards.
Thus
, it is pertinent that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
takes such step for
extremely
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "need"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
needs
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

On the other hand
, it is
Consider using a past participle here: "canned".
can
also
be argued
that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
housing is not a sustainable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
as the population increases. This is true
especially
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
such as India and China.
Moreover
, the states in these economies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
also
spend on other essentials such as food and education. To overcome this barrier, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can either subsidize housing or redevelop slum areas to build more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it affordable for the mass. A classic example of such an initiative is a country like Indonesia, where the country offers up to 60% home loan subsidy to the needy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, this resulted in a 40% growth in home dwellers.

Having considered a range of arguments, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a conclusion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
housing to
extremely
poor families and subsidization for the mass population of lower socioeconomic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, needs to
be adopted
to tackle this issue.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The woman expresses her opinon about the proposal. state her opinion and express the reason she gives for holding that opinon. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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