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The woman expresses her opinion of the announcement. State her opinion and explain the reasons she gives for holding that opinion. v.1

The woman expresses her opinion of the announcement. State her opinion and explain the reasons she gives for holding that opinion. v. 1
In today’s fast-moving world a lot of people do not have time to follow the news that is happening in their country or across the world. Especially the younger generation, who do not care enough to open a newspaper since according to them they have better things to do! The main cause of this is the increase in mobile phone usage. Young people are technology addicts and prefer spending time on their mobile phones rather than read a newspaper or watch the news on TV. The usage of social media applications is gradually on the rise. The need to impress friends by uploading pictures or watch television shows or play new games has become essential. Earlier, when there were no mobile phones, our ancestors used to read the newspaper the first thing in the morning. I remember my grandfather used to wait for the newspaper boy every morning so that he can start his day while my father waited for his turn. Further, spending time with friends or partners is another cause of missing important news. Young people are so self focused that they want to regularly hang out with friends, go to movies, try new restaurants and go shopping. Somewhere, parents are responsible too, as they do not implement such habits in their kids and rather tell them to focus on their studies. I know a few relatives who tell their kids to gain knowledge from the school books they read as it would help them score better marks but these kids fail miserably in General Knowledge. One of the solutions to change this habit is to have a subject of general knowledge in schools where students are required to discuss essential topics/news that occurred in the past week. Also, parents play a vital role and must tell their children to read the newspaper or watch the news on the TV for at least half an hour if they want to use their mobile phones or go out with their friends. Parents as well can participate by watching the news with them so that they can share their views on it. To conclude, family and teachers can play an important role in imparting good habit of following news in the younger generation. It is their responsibility to make sure their kids follow local as well as international news on a daily basis.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-moving world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have time to follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that is
happening in their country or across the world.
Especially
the younger generation, who do not care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to open a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
since according to them they have better things to do!

The main cause of this is the increase in mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
usage. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are technology addicts and prefer spending time on their mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on TV. The usage of social media applications is
gradually
on the rise. The need to impress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
by uploading pictures or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
or play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
games has become essential. Earlier, when there were no mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, our ancestors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
the
first
thing in the morning. I remember my grandfather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to wait for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
boy every morning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
his day while my father waited for his turn.

Further
, spending time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or partners is another cause of missing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
self focused that they want to
regularly
hang out with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, go to movies, try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
restaurants and go shopping. Somewhere, parents are responsible too, as they do not implement such habits in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
and
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them to focus on their studies. I know a few relatives who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to gain knowledge from the school books they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
as it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them score better marks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
fail
miserably
in General
Knowledge.

One of the solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this habit is to have a subject of general knowledge in schools where students
are required
to discuss essential topics/news that occurred in the past week.
Also
, parents play a vital role and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
their children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on the TV for at least half an hour if they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
or go out with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Parents
as well
can participate by watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can share their views on it.

To conclude
, family and teachers can play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in imparting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habit of following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in the younger generation. It is their responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
follow local
as well
as international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on a daily basis.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The woman expresses her opinion of the announcement. State her opinion and explain the reasons she gives for holding that opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
393 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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