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The widespread use of the Internet has thought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? What solutions can you suggest? v.2

The widespread use of the Internet has thought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? What solutions can you suggest? v. 2
It is believed that although the popularity of the Internet provides us with various huge benefits, it also has a variety of negative aspects. This essay will discuss the main disadvantages of Internet Technology and some possible solutions to deal with these problems. On the one hand, the widespread of the Internet causes a number of serious issues. First of all, the overuse of the Internet through electronic devices like smartphones and computers for recreation can harm our health. For examples, many people waste time to play games, watching movies and videos through the Internet in their leisure time, therefore they do not have time to exercise. Consequently, this can lead to obesity, which increases the likelihood of various diseases and medical conditions such as diabetes, cancers, and mental disorders. Secondly, the Internet distracts people from working and therefore hamper their ability to manage and balance time, energy, and attention. As a result, it can reduce the productivity of staffs and cause economic problems for their companies. Finally, with access to billions of people in the world, it is possible for hackers to take over some individual' s accounts and steal their personal information and their money. Furthermore, Internet Services companies like Google and Facebook already collect user' s data to exploit for secret purposes. On the other hand, there are a number of ways to solve these problems. Firstly, parents, teachers, and office managers should impose the restriction of cell phones and computers to restrain their access to the Internet. In addition, the government should enforce the Internet Services to develop Internet security as well as give the users more right to protect their private information.
It
is believed
that although the popularity of the Internet provides us with various huge benefits, it
also
has a variety of
negative
aspects. This essay will discuss the main disadvantages of Internet Technology and
some
possible solutions to deal with these problems.

On the one hand,
the widespread of
the Internet causes a number of serious issues.
First of all
, the overuse of the Internet through electronic devices like smartphones and computers for recreation can harm our health. For examples,
many
people
waste
time
to play games, watching movies and videos through the Internet in their leisure
time
,
therefore
they do not have
time
to exercise.
Consequently
, this can lead to obesity, which increases the likelihood of various diseases and medical conditions such as diabetes, cancers, and mental disorders.
Secondly
, the Internet distracts
people
from working and
therefore
hamper their ability to manage and balance
time
, energy, and attention.
As a result
, it can
reduce
the productivity of staffs and cause economic problems for their
companies
.

Finally
, with access to billions of
people
in the world, it is possible for hackers to take over
some
individual&
#039; s accounts and steal their personal information and their money.
Furthermore
, Internet Services
companies
like Google and Facebook already collect
user&
#039; s data to exploit for secret purposes.

On the other hand
, there are a number of ways to solve these problems.
Firstly
, parents, teachers, and office managers should impose the restriction of cell phones and computers to restrain their access to the Internet.
In addition
, the
government
should enforce the Internet Services to develop Internet security
as well
as give the users more right to protect their private information.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The widespread use of the Internet has thought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? What solutions can you suggest? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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