Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is true that history is considered to be an unnecessary subject by a few individuals. However, I believe that the history plays a vital role in our education, therefore an absence of history in schools can cause many disadvantages to students. v.2

It is true that history is considered to be an unnecessary subject by a few individuals. However, I believe that the history plays a vital role in our education, therefore an absence of history in schools can cause many disadvantages to students. v. 2
On the one hand, it is significantly important for people to study the history. First of all, learning the past can often provide a further understanding of our current world. For example, people can understand the necessity of the social welfare programs and the impact of them on the economy when they study about Great Depression period and New Deal. Therefore, we can deal with the situation we face today thanks to history lessons. Secondly, learning history involves investigation and interpretation, which sharpen our critical thinking skills. For instance, to analysis a historic event, we must assess the certainty of the historic resources, approach the information by many aspects such as psychology, geography, economics, and cultures, and then collect and connect all the gathered clues into one logical whole. As a result, we can broaden our mind and improve the logical thinking. On the other hand, removing the history out of the education causes many issues to the students. Firstly, the pupils will not know how bloody their ancestors had to endure and fight to protect their homeland. As a consequence, it makes them feel less respect for their country, cultures, and society. Furthermore, some individuals even may disobey the laws and commit crimes. Finally, the students will gain less knowledge about some fields like economics and cultures due to their relation to the history. In conclusion, I believe that studying history plays a crucial role in our education programs and therefore it is unacceptable to remove it from the curriculum.
On the one hand, it is
significantly
important
for
people
to study the
history
.
First of all
, learning the past can
often
provide a
further
understanding of our
current
world.
For example
,
people
can understand the necessity of the social welfare programs and the impact of them on the economy when they study about Great Depression period and New Deal.
Therefore
, we can deal with the situation we face
today
thanks to
history
lessons.
Secondly
, learning
history
involves investigation and interpretation, which sharpen our critical thinking
skills
.
For instance
, to analysis a historic
event
, we
must
assess the certainty of the historic resources, approach the information by
many
aspects such as psychology, geography, economics, and cultures, and then collect and connect all the gathered clues into one logical whole.
As a result
, we can broaden our mind and
improve
the logical thinking.

On the other hand
, removing the
history
out of the education causes
many
issues to the students.
Firstly
, the pupils will not know how bloody their ancestors had to endure and fight to protect their homeland. As a consequence, it
makes
them feel less respect for their country, cultures, and society.
Furthermore
,
some
individuals even may disobey the laws and commit crimes.
Finally
, the students will gain less knowledge about
some
fields like economics and cultures due to their relation to the history.

In conclusion
, I believe that studying
history
plays a crucial role in our education programs and
therefore
it is unacceptable to remove it from the curriculum.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay It is true that history is considered to be an unnecessary subject by a few individuals. However, I believe that the history plays a vital role in our education, therefore an absence of history in schools can cause many disadvantages to students. v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts